Sign This Petition To Stop People Who Torture Animals Owning Pets Again

There is nothing good to be said about people who hurt animals, and now there is a petition to try and stop them from ever owning a pet again.

It emerged this week that a little chihuahua called Chunky had been tortured by four teenagers, before being left for dead next tosome bins at the side of the road.

He was found with a broken leg, neck, a burnt face and eyes and had even been force-fed drugs by the teens, who had tortured the poor pup over a number of hours, apparently for their own “amusement”…

The RSPCA officer dealing with the case said:

“This was the most disturbing case I have ever dealt with, by an absolute mile. These youths admitted feeding him drugs, kicking and punching him, and wringing and breaking his neck before dumping him. They also said they set fire to his face and eyes after lighting a deodorant aerosol can. The whole thing sends shivers down my spine.”

Chunky made a miraculous recovery and is happy with a new family (above).

Shockingly though, the boys were only banned from owning an animal for five years. Yes, five years before they could potentially find another dog to have “fun” with.

So one dog-lover, and just generally sane person, Maxine Berry has set up a petition asking David Cameron to permanently ban people who abuse animals. Which, when you think about it, makes crystal clear sense…

You can sign the petition here, and help stop dogs like Chunky being hurt again.

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Making Your Own Delicious Gummy Bears At Home Is Easier Than You Think

What is it about gummy bears that makes them so irresistible for everyone from toddlers to teens…and full-grown adults?

Perhaps we’ll never know whether it’s their squishy consistency or their sugary flavor, but one thing we do know is that we can finally stop spending money on the store-bought versions. Yes, my friends, you can indeed make these childhood treats at home!

And the recipe is really easy!

Your kids are about to tout you as the best parents ever.

Source: http://www.viralnova.com

Anonymous Is Now Hacking A Country Because They Kill Whales

Iceland is a pretty great country to be honest. They have waterfalls, lagoons, and the Northern Lights…

Their literacy rate is 99%, the sun never sets (at least not in summer) and they have a handy app to make sure no-one inadvertently commits incest.

You would think that hacker group Anonymous would approve of Iceland – what with their liberal stance on refugee quotas, and their informative penis museums – but the hactivists have declared cyber war on the tiny island nation.

Why? They disapprove of Iceland’s whaling policies.

In a video posted online, Anonymous said:

“Whales do not have a voice. We will be a voice for them. Its time to speak out about this impending extinction of a species. Its time to let Iceland know we will not stand by and watch as they drive this animal to extinction.”

Whaling is frowned on internationally (to say the least), but along with Norway and Japan, Iceland continues to hunt whales for their meat.

Just when we thought there wasn’t a single blemish on this volcano-garnished, hot-spring adorned, incest-free paradise!

Anonymous have called for a boycott on Icelandic products, and have already shut down at least five of their government’s websites, vowing to expose the cruel practices involved in whaling.

You can watch Anonymous declare war on Iceland – liberal, beautiful – yet whale murdering Iceland – here:

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‘The Angry Birds Movie’: Aim this review wherever you choose, let it fly

LOS ANGELES What do you want from your The Angry Birds Movie experience, exactly?

1. I L-O-V-E that game, sooooo excited to see it come to life!

Oh good, because The Angry Birds Movie will curl your toes about once every five minutes. Your thumbs will be twitching on the phone in your lap during the explosive finale, where they launch all the birds into the pig’s island city. Oh, and those pigs! If you had a daily compulsion to knock down their cartoonishly vertical buildings before, just wait these poisonous little porkers are PURE EVIL AND WANT TO EAT BABIES. Bash their city down! There’s all kinds of fan service in it it’s actually pretty sweet how they work in the trampolines and the plungers and the slingshot and all the different birds’ special traits and whatnot. You’re going to have a great time at the movies this weekend, and good luck getting your (wife/husband) off the iPad afterwards!

2. My kids are making me take them how bad is this going to be?

Relax … it’s fine! You’ll live. You might even enjoy much of it. You’ve played Angry Birds, right? The red one is this really testy, borderline dickish guy (Jason Sudeikis) who doesn’t like any of the other birds, of course, but his deep cynicism and distrustfulness actually help him sniff out the pigs’ plan to steal the birds’ eggs. If you haven’t played the game for awhile, you might wonder why the hell certain things are happening the female bird shoots sparkly, concussive blasts out of her butt, for instance, no explanation given but that’s just the quirks of the game being sewn in for fans’ sake. There are a few really funny extended gags, and the side characters do kind of grow on you. It’s totally tolerable actually, like the Ice Age movies.

3. My (girl/boy)friend wants to see it but my vote is forThe Nice Guys

Psst, come here, I’m gonna let you in on a lil’ a secret: SureThe Nice Guys got amazing reviews and all your homies are going to see it but guess what? It isn’t that great.You’re not missing out on much. It’ll be forgotten in two weeks. Same goes forNeighbors 2: But With a Sorority Instead. So here’s your play: Give in this time, and save that chip for next week when you want to see X-Men: Apocalypse and (s)he wants to see Alice: Through the Looking Glass. Trust us on this one, you’ll come out way on top.

4. I do not want to see The Angry Birds Movie

Are they gone? Phew I thought they’d never leave. So, yeah, look, I didn’t want to see it either, but this movie is based on a game that has been downloaded more than three billion times. That is BILLION, with a “B,” as in billion. There are only something like 7.5 billion people on the planet! And this is a website that covers gaming pretty extensively, so somebody around here had to review it. Hell, I haven’t played Angry Birds in like five years what grownup with a jay-oh-bee has time for that? so a lot of the reverse-engineered-for-the-movie game references were thoroughly lost on me. But I could tell they had to be game references because they were either that, or the hottest of nonsense. Oh and the big musical number is a country song, if that tells you anything about where they expect this movie to play. You know what? It’s not even altogether bad. If you get stuck watching it on a plane in a few months, it’s not like you’ll be hoping for a bird-strike.

Have something to add to this story? Share it in the comments.

Source: http://mashable.com/

This Woman Believes That Shes In The Wrong Body, And Is Actually A Cat

20-year-old Nano can see in the dark, hisses whenever she sees a dog and likes to sleep on the windowsill, or in the sink.

She’s been trying to catch a mouse (although she hasn’t succeeded yet) and being in busy, public spaces can be stressful for her.

This is because Nano, in short, is a cat. Or at least, she believes she is.

She wears cat ears on a headband, as well as a fake tail, and although she’s largely adapted to human life, she prefers to walk on four legs, and communicate by meowing.

Nano believes she was born as a cat, and while her psychiatrist thinks she’ll grow out of this, Nano’s pretty adamant that she won’t. Although at one time, she was so much cat she’d forgotten how to be human – so couldn’t walk on two legs or eat with a knife and fork – she’s been working hard to behave like a person.

And she even has a cat friend. Although Svein is a human, he has a ‘cat personality’, and so can understand what Nano’s miaows mean.

You can check out a video of her talking about being a cat here:

To be honest, we do not know what to make of this. Anyone?

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Everything Wrong With The Secret Life Of Pets

A few hours ago Cinema Sins uploaded their new issue of “Everything Wrong With…”. This time the animated movie “The Secret Life Of Pets” gets a video critic – and you can be sure that this video will get a lot more than the 70,000 views it now has.

“Here is a movie that wants so very hard to be a good movie. It’s not, but it wishes it was. Instead it’s just… ugh.”

Source: http://www.viralviralvideos.com

Weird Girl Explains Why Women Should Have Sex With Dogs

Do you remember in sex education when the teacher was informing you about how to practice safe sex to avoid pregnancy or STDs, and then said if you really want to be safe then the best thing to do is just have sex with your dog? No, nor do I, but this seems to be the screwed up advice that this girl is offering.

It has to be fake, right? Surely this girl is tolling us. We hope so, but it’s kind of hard to tell. She nonchalantly reels of the ten reasons why you should have sex with a caninewhilst giggling and stroking her dog.

Reasons include it being legal in some states, it’s convenient, it’s safe, and it’s been happening for hundreds of years. To top it all of she says that dogs don’t complain. Seriously, she has to be trolling us.

Someone please buy her a vibrator for Christmas.

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Nocturnal Animals Teaser Trailer: Get Ready to Go to Some Dark Places

Designer Tom Ford’s 2009 film A Single Man was one of the more auspicious directing debuts in recent history: Though Ford had long been a powerhouse in the fashion world, thanks to stints at Gucci and Yves Saint Laurent, few would have expected that his first movie—a stylish, cheekbone-boasting drama about a closeted professor in 1960s California—would be strong enough to earn acting nominations for its cast (including Colin Firth and Julianne Moore) and nearly $10 million at the U.S. box office.

So expectations are high for Ford’s follow-up, Nocturnal Animals, the first teaser trailer for which arrived today. Based on Austin Wright’s 1993 novel Tony and Susan, the film stars Amy Adams as Susan, a successful LA art-gallery owner whose ex-husband Edward (Jake Gyllenhaal) shows up after nearly two decades of silence, having written a violent novel that’s very clearly about their relationship. “I did something horrible to him,” Susan says—though exactly what isn’t clear in this very cryptic trailer full of brooding, beautiful expressions, ominous desert detours, and lots of…showering? So much showering! There hasn’t been a grown-up thriller with this much attention to cleanliness since Silkwood.

Also starring Armie Hammer, Michael Shannon, Isla Fisher, Laura Linney, and Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Nocturnal Animals won the Grand Jury Prize at this year’s Venice Film Festival, and was a breakout hit at the Toronto Film Festival. The stakes are high to see whether Ford will be able to top his debut. Will audiences want to see a film that reminds them that movie stars are beautiful pieces of perfection, and we are all mere plebes who couldn’t pull off a Gucci suit no matter how hard we tried? We’ll find out when Nocturnal Animals opens November 18.

Source: http://www.wired.com/

Jonah Hill And Miles Teller Flirt With Guns And Danger In War Dogs Trailer

The true story of two 20-something-year-old stoners who became international arms dealers,War Dogsis the latestcomedy/drama fromThe Hangover director Todd Phillips.

Starring Miles Teller and Jonah Hill asDavid Packouz and Efraim Diveroli – the unlikely winners of a$300 million Pentagon contract to supply arms to America’s Afghani allies – the film is already being likened to The Wolf of Wall Street,in that it charts the quasi-illegal activities of those trying to make a lot of money.

The Hangover alumnus Bradley Cooper makes an appearance as somesort of shady criminal, encountered by Teller and Hill as they attempt to navigate the dangerous underbelly of the world of arms dealing.

Check out the trailer here:

What do you think? Let us know in the comments…

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The Worlds Worst Zoo Where Animals Starve To Death And Are Left To Mummify

WARNING: This article contains images some people may find distressing.

The privately run Khan Younis Zoo in South Gaza is being described as the ‘world’s worst zoo,’ and it’s easy to see why. The ongoing conflict in the area, and a shortage of funds, has made the zoo difficult to maintain. Things have gotten so bad that they exhibit dead, mummified animals in enclosures alongside living ones.

The animal protection organisationFour Paws have been trying to raise money to get much needed supplies to the zoos in Gaza. They were recently able to deliver enough food to get the animals through four weeks, but the problem is ongoing.

Here’s a video released by Four Paws

These upsetting images have shown how the animals have decayed over the years.

If you want to help by donating to Four Paws, then you can do so via this JustGiving page.

Image Credits: Daily Mail, Huffington Post

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‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows’ has absolutely zero chill

A still for ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows.’
Image: paramount

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows isan insane fever dream of explosions, talking turtles and WTF plotlines.

And if it wasn’t rated PG-13, kids would totally love it.

For the lax parents out there,mostof the movie is probably fine for older children who can handle heavy action but only if you want to hear them repeat phrases like “son of a bitch” that are casually thrown around.

Plus,Megan Fox is outfitted in a scandalous schoolgirl costume halfway through her first scene. You know, for sleuth work.

The freewheeling sequel, directed by David Green and produced by Michael Bay, is thankfully more fun than its terrible predecessor, directed by Jonathan Liebesman. The turtles have even more charm;Donatello is nerdier, Leonardo is angstier, Raphael is Vin Diesel-ier and Michelangelo is the hilarious glue holding it all together.

Any time the film strays away from these four, it falters.

The plot picks up from the last movie Shredder is being moved to a high security prison and the Foot Clan aims to rescue him with the help of nerdy evil scientist Baxter Stockman (Tyler Perry).

April O’Neill (Fox) and the turtles oppose them, joined by newly spurned cop (who’s gonna be a detective someday!) and hockey lover Casey Jones (Stephen Amell).

Oh, and there’s also another crazy plot featuring unsightly supervillain Krang (best described by Michelangelo as chewed up gum with a face), who wants to destroy the Earth. As villains are wont to do.

The film still carries some of the major hindrances of the first corny dialogue and an absurd level of repetitive exposition that might be forgivable if this was a G-rated movie for children. But it’s not, and the hilarious disregard for any kind of subtlety will have you rolling your eyes back to the ’90s.

“The hilarious disregard for any kind of subtlety will have you rolling your eyes back to the ’90s.”

This movie is about as nuanced and subtle as Gordon Ramsay telling Hell’s Kitchen chefs what he thinks about their food.It’s about as subtle as Beyonc telling Jay Z she wants to play him a little something, except that something is Lemonadeand suddenly she’s in a fur coat and cornrows.

Dialogue aside, Fox’s acting is another disappointment, turning in a blank performance despite all the high flying action around her.

The turtles are really the best performers, save for goofball henchmen Bebop (Gary Anthony Williams) and Rocksteady (Stephen Farrelly, better known as WWE wrestler Sheamus). They’re a delightfully dumb duo and original TMNTfans will be happy to see them in action.

Will Arnett is also in fun form, back again to play the narcissistic Vernon Fenwick, while Laura Linney jumps in to play sarcastic Chief Vincent.

Though TMNT 2has major problems, it earnestly tries to win you back by the third act with Bay-level action sequences and genuine humor, largely provided by Michelangelo, the film’s comedic and tender heart.

If you’re disheartened by the other drawbacks of which there are many there are at least four arguable reasons to see it. You already know their names.

Have something to add to this story? Share it in the comments.

Source: http://mashable.com/

26 Ridiculously Cute Before And After Photos Of Dogs Growing Up

Man’s best friend. We all know and love a dog somewhere down the line and, if you don’t have one, you’re constantly jealous of your friends that do.

And the great thing about dogs is that they’re lovely at every age. The whole time you have them, they love you and you love them.

Here’s to dogs and their loving ways. Keep on trucking, you fantastic mutts!

1. It still doesn’t look like it’s used to standing on backs…

2. The dog grew into a legendary pokemon!

3. Always there to take up bed space

4.It’s got a look on it’s face like when you tell a kid he’s too old to play with lego…

5. It learned how to smile!

6. That’s one photogenic dog

7. Still looks grumpy

8. Awww

9. It looks like it hates that now

10. Nice bow tie

11. No it’s sad that it can’t fit any more!

12. At least it’s not tired any more…

13. Arty

14. How’d it get in there?

15. Love the grin

16.This one’s far too emotional

17. Impressive

18. Army rescue pup

19. That guy looks progressively more happy to have his dog

20. It’s grown to know when it’s being watched

21. What type of dog is that?!

22. I bet that the dog ruined that chair

23. Happier with age

24. Humans grow too?!

25. That dog hasn’t even aged

26. Can huskies control their tongues?

Is it us or did they get a little melancholy? Dogs are great. Really really great.

What do you think? Let us know in the comments!

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Man Buries His Cat, Only For It To Wander Back Into The Kitchen A Few Hours Later

In what must have been a particularly strange day, a local councillor buried his dead cat, only to have it turn up in his kitchen a couple of hours later.

(And no, this isn’t the start of some felinezombie apocalypse).

The story started as Matt Strong took to Twitter to share the sad news that his cat, Gus, had been killed in a hit and run accident:

But, as Matt would soon learn, the cat killed wasn’t Gus. Gus, along with his brother Ralph, wandered home, into thekitchen, just a couple of hours afterMatt had‘buried him’.

Probablythrilled that his cat was alive, and not buried in the garden, Matt did have one problem. As he pointed out on his Facebook page:

“Unfortunately this means I have someone’s dead cat buried in my garden.”

Pretty nobly, Matt decided that the cat’s body belonged with its owners, and so just a couple of hours after he had buriedit, he found himself digging up the grave, and taking the cat to a local vet.

This strange story has a happy ending for Gus and Matt, but our thoughts are with the family whose pet was killed today.

Image Credit: i100

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Dogs Arent Allowed On The Subway Unless Theyre In A Carrier. These Guys Found A Loophole

So dogs have been banned on the New York subway… well, not all dogs. The dogs that have been banned are the ones that matter. Basically, you can’t bring a dog onto the train with you unless it’s carry-able within a bag. You know the sort I mean…

Yeah. Not real dogs, really.

Luckily, some people have found glorious exceptions to the rules and they really deserve our commendation…

1. It’s not often you see shame in a dog’s eyes.

2. This one just looks like he’s ready to have a bash up

3. Do you think the bags are empty other than the dogs? Like is there a tin of vaseline and a twix in there too?

4. Now that’s what you want to see. Delighted.

5. The guy looks embarrassed like it was the dog’s idea…

6. I’m not convinced there’s a whole dog in there.

7. This one seems like cheating. Mind you, carrying two beagles seems a little heavy-handed… literally.

8. …Not sure I know this breed?

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These Shocking Illustrations Put Humans In The Place Of Animals

Hoping to offer a different perspective on animal rights, Bored Panda have collected cartoonsthat imagine what life would be like if animals were the dominant species, and behaved towards humans the way we behave towards them.

The result is a shocking (and occasionally upsetting– so be warned) series of images that is intended to make us “think differently about the way that humans treat animals”.

Check them out, and see what you think:

For more cartoons, head over to Bored Panda to check out the whole collection.

And let us know what you think of these cartoons in the comments. Have they made you change the way you think about animal rights?

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These Are The Most Lifelike Balloon Animals Youll Ever See Ever.

If you asked me to make a balloon animal right now, I’d ask you what you were doing in my office. I’d then give it a go (always trying to please) but then fail miserably.

UnlikeMasayoshi Matsumoto. The 26-year-old chemical engineer is a self-taught balloon artist who makes crazy-intricate animals out of the rubbery joy (that has to be the weirdest way to say balloons ever… short of glorified condoms).

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Anyway, have a look and bear in mind that I’m no David Attenborough – my captions will NOT be 100% accurate…

1. A baboon

2. So I thought this one was a baboon until I saw the other one so, I don’t know, really. Some kind of monkey, perhaps?

3. A bull standing on several starfish

4. A pokmon

5. A dove with an egg cracked on top of it

6. One of the things they eat on I’m a Celebrity

7. Mr Krabs under a duvet

8. Bug sex

9. A corn on the cob that’s grown a head, legs and a tail.

10. A surprised, winged insect

11. I’ve been told this is an isopod

12. I know this one. A kingfisher. You’ve got Indian beer to thank for that.

13. A pissed of lightbulb

14. A phoenix. They’re not real, right?

15. Ssssnnaaaakkkee

16. A striped prick.

Check out all of his amazing work HERE

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Ever Wondered What Animals Look Like With Forward Facing Eyes? You Can Stop Now

So one of humanity’s (and most great apes in general) big turning points in evolution was when our eyes started facing forwards. I’m not particularly sure why and I think it would be fun to see what we’d look like with eyes on the side of our faces. That’s why I’m not in charge of species genetics… probably.

But what would it look like if other animals had eyes facing forward? It’s an odd question, I know, but I had to find a way to link the intro into the actual content… just have a look below, courtesy of imgur.

1. Birds

2. Chicken (a form of bird)

3. Cows

4. Deer

5. Dolphins

6. The same dolphin… or a different one. I’m not beingprejudicedor anything, saying that all dolphins look alike. It was an honest mistake.

7. A lovely giraffe

8. Goats

9. A seagull (also a form of bird… I should have thought this through)

10. Christ another bird. A Pigeon, everybody

11. A good, honest rabbit.

12. An instantly less menacing shark.

I mean, this is basically what Pixar do for every animal but, for some reason, these look less real.

Disney Pixar

Anyway, what do you think? Let us know in the comments!

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Hilarious Comic Strip Tells Us What Animals Are Really Saying

What do animals get up to when they’re not busy being patronised by us? It’s weird to think that they have their whole lives that have nothing to do with humans…

Like when two dogs are barking, what are they going on about? The weather? Some cat? Or do they just like making noise? It’s hard to tell, really.

Luckily, They Can Talk (a comic strip) is around to give us an insight into what they’re talking about… we’re not sure how the artist got the information but, you know… we trust him.

Finally. It’s about time we knew what whales were shouting when they jumped out of the water and all this time the sharks where just trying to help!

Did that horse one upset anyone else?

What did you think? Let us know in the comments!

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Helped Resurrect Tarkin for Rogue One

Of the many surprises in Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, none was more impressive than the movie’s resurrection of Grand Moff Tarkin. It wasn’t extraordinary that he factored in to the plot of the film, per se—Tarkin was definitely a big deal in the Empire at the time—it was remarkable because the actor who played him, Peter Cushing, passed away in 1994. To recreate his performance, Industrial Light & Magic had to pull off all kinds of CGI tricks, including using a facial capture technique that began its life on 2014’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Find out how the ILM team did their Oscar-nominated work in the Design FX video above.

Source: http://www.wired.com/

Tons Of People On Facebook Were Tricked Into Sharing This Photo Of A Dog

Stephen Roseman, take a bow.

This photo that he posted a couple of days before Christmas has been shared over 100,000 times.

It is likely that most of those 100,000 people are sharing a photo of a dog with a slice of ham on its face. There are some, however, that are sharing a photo of a brave dogwho was disfigured trying to save his family from a house fire.

Some people can see that it’s just a slice of ham, but they can’t see the joke. Instead it’s much easier to believe that a man would do this for attention.

Some aren’t happy with the treatment prescribed.

Does anyone else remember Ham Face Girl? Share this and pray for her if you do.

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We know more about the crystal foxes from ‘Last Jedi’ and they’re still perfect

We may be switching gears from Star Wars to Infinity War in the Disney blockbuster fandom, but let’s take a moment for those regal af crystal foxes from The Last Jedi that wowed us all in December. 

In a new bonus feature, director Rian Johnson gives us more details about the crystal foxes that inhabit the planet Crait. Spoiler: It’s super cute.

Creature Concept Designer Tim Napper shows early designs of the crystal fox including digital sketches, as well as testing out the physical features on a real animal – a.k.a. dressing a dog up as a crystal fox. 

The Last Jedi will be available for digital download March 13 and on Blu-ray March 27.

Source: http://mashable.com/

Lion Tries To Eat A Kid At The Zoo

There’s something pretty eerie about watching a lion stalk its prey, and it gets even eerier when that prey is a cute little boy in a yellow raincoat.

A video has made its way online of just that, a little boy visiting the zoo and when he turns his back, the lion reminds us what would happen if we got to see him in real life out in the wild somewhere (clue: we wouldn’t win).

The video has been shared widely across the internet,with many making link to the recent shooting of Harambe. What I will say aboutthis Japanese zoo, is that they’ve really mastered the whole ‘zoo’ thing – in so much as the kids can’t get into the enclosure, and the lion can’t get out. Bravo.

Check out the clip here:

This video is a stark reminder that despite us humans keeping them in zoos, these animals will always be wild.

And also that little kidscan be super chill, even when a lion is trying to eat them. Cool guy.

What do you think? Let us know in the comments.

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Cows Are Officially The Most Dangerous Animals In Britain

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Animal Activist Saves 1000 Dogs From The Yulin Dog Meat Festival

The Yulin dog meat festival occurs every year at the beginning of the summer solstice in China, as the belief that eating dog meat will help one’s body to cope with the heat presides.

Over the ten-day course of the controversial festival, 10,000 dogs are expected to be slaughtered and eaten. Although around 15 million dogs are killed a year for food in China, it’s the Yulin festival that riles up animal activists the most.

Activists such as America Marc Ching who travelled to China for the festival to try and save as many dogs as possible…

As his Facebook page would have it, as of last night, he and his accomplice, Valarie Ianniello, managed to save over 1000 dogs so far.

Amongst his methods, he buys the dogs from the slaughterhouses and then ships them to America for rehabilitation. He also persuades people to stop working in that trade as well as helping them set up new businesses. He says that many are in it purely for the money and not the tradition.

Having said that, Marc doesn’t always come across such amicable people and, every now and then, they act violently against him…


It’s not just Marc, either – Animal activists from China have been getting involved left, right and centre and, with the pressure on the state, authorities have dissociated themselves with the festival completely.

Nevertheless, organisers of the festival are still aiming to restore it to its former glory. Here’s to hoping that doesn’t happen…

What do you think? Let us know in the comments!

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This Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Porn Parody Will Ruin Your Childhood

Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles, what a brilliant name for a porn parody.

“Ten inches” I hear you cry. “How did this happen?” Well, some horny fella who worked at a nuclear power plant managed to spill his radioactive sperm into the sewer and onto the turtles. Moments later they have ten inch growths on their unmentionables. It’s a watertight story line, which I’m sure is what you’re here for.

That, and to learn what the best kind of porn is, which is pizza guy porn of course.

Meet the brilliantly named cast.

You can watch the full, naked video over at Wood Rocket.

H/T: Uproxx

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Simon Cowell Furious After Trembling Puppies Used On Britains Got More Talent

If there’s one thing everyone knows about Simon Cowell, other than his penchant for weirdly high-waisted trousers, it’s that he loves dogs.

And during a recent episode of Britain’s Got Talent’s companion show, Cowell was faced with terrified little puppies and he wasn’t happy about it.

The puppies were part of a quiz hosted by Stephen Mulhern, that involved BGT-related questions with adorable little puppies a prizes. However, the little Dalmatian looked terrified – probably by the large audience and new environment. Or, you know, the close proximity to Simon’s chest hair.

Simon quickly ditched the quiz when he realised how terrified his puppy was and got up to return him/her to his owner and put him in his carrier. He was reportedly heard telling production staff:They shouldnt be doing this.

And then allegedly spent some time with the owners making sure the puppies were well looked after and admitting that they should be taken home.

Mulhern went on to apologize later in the show for the use of the puppies, saying:

‘Very quickly, I just want to apologise if we upset anybody with the puppies. Obviously that was not our intention in any shape or form.

So if we have upset you in any way I do apologise on behalf of Britains Got More Talent.

And fans praised Simon for his actions:

Here’s a clip of the quiz and apology:


What do you think? Let us know in the comments

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Dog Goes Out To Pee, Accidentally Runs Half Marathon, Finishes 7th

While the vast majority of us can’t claim to have accidentally run a half marathon, two-and-a-half-year-old bloodhound Ludivine just did exactly that.

Prone to exploring Elkmont – the small town where she lives – by herself, when her owner April Hamlin let her out for a wee, Ludivineslipped out of her garden, and found her way (by chance) to the start of a half marathon.

Enthusiastic, excited by all the activity, Ludivine then proceeded to run the whole 13.1 miles along with theactual competitors.

As Tim Horvath, who spent most of the race running with Ludivine, told Runner’s World:

“One time she went over and met another dog next to the course. Later on, she went into a field with some mules and cows. Then shed come back and run around our legs. I wondered if she was going to get tired or go back to wherever her home was.”

But Ludivine didn’t get tired. She finished the race, coming in seventh.

Owner April didn’t find out what Ludivine had been up to, until her friends spotted the dog, wearing a medal, at the end of the race.

“My first reaction was that I was embarrassed and worried that she had possibly gotten in the way of the other runners.”

April was also surprised that her dog had managed the whole race, admitting that she was usually quitelazy. In any case, Ludivine was pretty tired after the race:

What a lovely dog.

Image Sources: Canadian Running, Runner’s World

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Heres Why Dogs Tilt Their Head To The Side

Dogs are ace. We dont need any further proof of that. Well tough… we have more evidence for you anyway.

Have you ever noticed how they tilt their head to the side occasionally? Science says there is a reason for that. According to

Apparently there is also another reason, which is a lot more conventional. It helps them hear better. Tilting their head helps them pick up the location or source of a sound.

So basically, as we said, dogs are ace. Now we suggest you dedicate 32 seconds to watching this legend run backwards.

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Meet The Guys Who Just Want To Live Their Lives As Puppies

It takes all sorts to fill a world. I once met a man that put his milk in first when making a cup of tea. That was pretty wild but, oddly, it seems impossibly tame when you compare it topuppy play.

What’s puppy play? Puppy play is when men dress themselves up in weird, full-bodied latex puppy outfits to fulfil some sort of fetish (although it’s not always sexual) and have people literally treat them like dogs – walk, treats, etc…

It’s been around for a while, I even met a few a while back…

It’s weird. They seriously don’t drop the act.

But why are people only interested in it now? Well, Channel 4 have made a documentary on it (as they often do with this kind of thing) and they’re offering a whole new and deeper insight into it…

Puppies can even find their respective handlers on message boards and forums today which is… nice? And whilst you might think these guys just put on their latex suits and go shagging in them, you’re only half right. Whilst some “puppies” do that, some are just lookingto find their identity.

The Guardian spoke to one pup who had a pretty deep tale (tail) to tell…

Toms discovery of puppy play came about gradually. He knew he liked sleeping in a collar, had a fetish for skin-tight clothing Lycra, rubber, even off-the-peg cycling shorts then came a dalmatian zentai suit he found on eBay, a 1 orange lead from Pets at Home until, eventually, a man in a club walked up to him and said: Oh right, so youre a pup. The realisation was not without its repercussions: it led to a breakup with his former fiancee Rachel and a move into a gay relationship with his new handler. Colin.

I wouldnt say it was the catalyst, but it was the straw that broke the camels back, says Tom. Then I had this moment of panic because a puppy without a collar is a stray; they dont have anyone to look after them. I started chatting to Colin online and he offered to look after me. Its a sad thing to say, but theres not love from the heart in me for Colin but what I have got is someone who is there for me and Im happy with that.

As they would have it, the main attraction to being a puppy is the emotional freedom. You’re able to connect with (willing) people on a far simpler level and, if you do have a (willing) handler, you really don’t have many cares to worry about.

Obviously, for some, there is a huge sexual element. Puppy Play is a sub-genre of BDSM, after all.

The thing is, if you want to dress up as a puppy, fill your boots. Nothing’s stopping you, be a little friendly dog if that’s what takes your fancy but… why latex? Why not some lovely, soft, furry number? In my whole life I’ve only ever seen one latex dog and I’m pretty sure that was inanimate…

Holly and Phil met one on This Morning, have a look!

Anyway, what do you think? Let us know in the comments!

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This Bird Has A Hilarious Tantrum When His Owners Wont Take Him For A Walk

All Eric the cockatoo wanted, was to go for a walk. Is that really too much to ask?

Unfortunately for him, on this particular rainy day it was. Stuck inside, cooped up, Eric was pretty annoyed. And he decided to show his annoyance by throwinga pretty impressive strop.

As his owner watches on, Eric rips the lid off a jar of money, and starts throwing coins all over the place. Squawking away, we’re not sure if this can actually be classed as a tantrum. It looks to us like Eric was just trying to ‘make it rain’.

Eric’s ‘tantrum’ (if that’s what we’re going to call it) lasts for about two minutes. The poor cockatoo, who just wanted to get some exercise, then calms down a bit. In any case, we’re totally on his side.

You can watch it all kick off here:

That’ll show them!

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Illegal Hunter Mauled To Death By The Lion He Was Trying To Kill

Five menhave been attacked by the lion that they were hunting outside theKruger National Park in South Africa.

While three managed to climb a tree, and another ran away, the fifth man was mauled to death, along with his two dogs.

The men were hunting big game illegally, as none had licences, and

While we don’t condone killing an endangered species for sport (the EOL classes the status of the lion species as ‘vulnerable’), describingthe death of a 24-year-old man as ‘poetic justice’ for the death of an animal, is perhaps a bit strong.

Our thoughts are with Matome Mahlale’s family at this difficult time.

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Little Girls Blows A Lion A Kiss And Gets A Fierce Response

You know how it is, you see a lion, you blow it a kiss and it turns into a handsome prince. Everyone lives happily ever after until you need a little more money and you make a sequel.

But this is real life, and there is no prince, just ahungry lion and, fortunately for the little girl, a big obstruction in the way. Perhaps the most impressive thing about this video is that as the girl doesn’t even flinch when the giant lion starts clawing away at the window right in front of her face.

Most of us would of been at least a little bit scared.

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These Creepy New Werewolf Cats Act Just Like Dogs

Ever wished you could have a cat that acted like a dog? This week, a new ‘werewolf’ cat breed was introduced to the world. And they’re prettymuch the best of both worlds.

Lykoi (Greek for wolves) have earned the nickname because they’re bred to act like hound dogs rather than cats.They wag their tails, track scents, and play fetch. They also look thoroughly wolf-esque.

And, according to their founder (should we say creator? leader?) Dr. Johnny Gobble, the bizarre hybrid is far more loyal than the average feline.

The breed isnaturally occurring and hasa mutation which causes their fur to be patchy, giving them their werewolf-like appearance.
While the breed is incrediblyunique, Gobble says that they’re perfectly healthy and thatextensivetests have ruled out any major health concerns.

The bad news? Since the breed is so new, a Lykoi will set you back about $2,500. And there’s a seriously long waiting list, too.

Which is unfortunate because we want seven. Maybe eight.

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This Weird New Pet Brush Wants You To Lick Your Cat

Sometimes when I’m walking home from the train station, I’ll see a cat wandering about and I’ll have to compelling urge to lick it.

But I don’t want to get a load of hair on my tongue. Everyone knows that having hair stuck in the back of your throat is on par with being water-boarded in a Thai prison.

So what can people like me do? How are we going to live with not licking cats?

SALVATION! Someone’s invented a a tongue attachment thing that allows you to brush your cat (or dog? (or anything hairy…)) while licking them!

If you don’t believe me…

I mean… what’s the thought behind this? Brush your cat but look like someone who isn’t allowed within 100 yards of a pet shop at the same time?

And what a fantastic slogan they’ve came up with – “Licki Brush: Lick your cat”. It’s truly inspired. SOMEONE PROBABLY GOT PAID TO COME UP WITH THAT!

The product is still in its production stage and is apparently getting a kickstarter page in the very near future.

GET YOURS WHILE STOCKS LAST!

What do you think? Let us know in the comments!

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The Secret Life Of Pets Review Youre In For A Treat

What do our pets do when we’re not at home? Sleep? Pine for us? Steal out of the fridge? Sleep some more?

According to The Secret Life of Pets, yes, they do all of these things. But, while watchinganimals snoozing might be cute at first, it probably wouldn’t be engaging enough to sustain a 90 minute feature film…

That’s why it’s a good thing that Max’sowner Katie (Ellie Kemper) brings him home a brother. You see, Max (Louis C.K.) and this new “brother” (Duke, voiced by Modern Family’s Eric Stonestreet) don’t exactly get along. They squabble, they torment each other and – besides – Max can’t stand that he has to share Katie’s affections with another dog.

Before too long, Max and Duke’s squabbling gets out of hand, and they manage to get themselves lost. And not only do they manage to get themselves lost: they also inadvertently get themselves involved with a gang of human-hating ex-pets, headed up by a ferocious (yet very adorable) bunny rabbit (Kevin Hart, the best part of the film).

Now, if you swap “Katie” with “Andy”, Max with “Woody” and Duke with “Buzz”, what you’ve got so far is pretty much the firstToy Story. (Andy brings home Buzz, Woody and Buzz hate each other, Woody and Buzz get lost together, and Woody and Buzz have to overcome their differences to make their way home).

There’s even a comparison to be made between Kevin Hart’s Snowball, and the sadistic Sid (although admittedly, that might be pushing it a bit).

But, don’t write The Secret Life of Pets off as a carbon-copy of Toy Story just yet. While it might share some similarities (what pets do when we’re not looking/ what toys do when we’re not looking being the glaringly obvious one), it also has a lot – and I mean a lot – that’s new and original.

The multi-faceted characters, for example, are a particular strength. You see, whileMax and Duke are trying to escape this terrifying gang, Max’s domesticated mates (Jenny Slate as some sort of tiny poodle, Lake Bell as a very fat cat, Hannibal Burress as a sausage dog and Albert Brooks as a hawk) launch a rescue mission that involves them leaving the safety of their homes, and journeying out into the big bad world (New York, in this case) in an effort to bring their friend home.

While the main players here areMax and Duke, this motley crew of their would-be rescuers have enough adventures to sustain another film entirely. Plus, while Max and Duke have issues to work out, their only function is to be funny. (A scene that you’ll struggle to forgetseesChloe the cat wreak havoc at a house party, and could have been lifted from “Cats Do The Funniest Things”).

Then there’s Kevin Hart, whowas – quite frankly – born for this role of an evil fluffy bunny. Stealing every scene that he’s in,Snowball is high-energy hilarious to the extent that I found myself considering whether I should be joining his miscreant group ofhuman-hating ex-pets. And look how cute he is…

The plot might be a bit predictable, but The Secret Life of Pets is for kids – it’s not exactly going to attempt a ‘Bruce Willis was dead all along’ style twist. Besides, this is the kind of film that you want to be predictable.

You want the emotional heart-to-hearts between two dog “brothers”. You want the poojokes and the sausage factory montage. You want the adventure, but you want everything to work out in the end.

And then, when it’s all over, you’ll want to go home and hug your pets.

The Secret Life of Pets hits UK screens on the 24th June.

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This Is Why Cats Are Scared Of Cucumbers You Horrible Horrible People

You may have noticed by now that cats get bloody livid when you surprise them with a cucumber. If you haven’t, you’ve presumably been in a month long coma or something. It’s everywhere…

Since people found that out, they’ve been wondering whether we’d ever get an explanation as to why felines are petrified about the fruits (not vegetables), but we didn’t… UNTIL NOW!

Although, be warned. The answer is more obvious than you thought but it’s a bit sad.

Animal behaviour specialist, Dr. Roger Mugford, had this to say on the matter…

I think that the reaction is due to the novelty and unexpectedness of finding an unusual object secretly placed while their heads were down in the food bowl.Cats have to be suspicious of the unknown: It could represent the danger of a snake or another predator. I suspect that there would be the same reaction to a model spider, a plastic fish or a human face mask.

OK so, granted, you shouldn’t torment your cat but, to be fair, if cats were humans, we’d all hate them. They’d genuinely be horrible horrible people. You can’t argue with that.

Although it has to be said, if you’re scaring cats for YouTube views, that’s not a good thing.

Cats apparently see their food bowls as safe places. They can go there to chill out. If you throw in a rogue cucumber, all hell will, understandably, break loose.

Author ofThink Like A Cat,Pam Johnson-Bennett, said:

With a startle response, a cat will often try to get out of there as quickly as possible and then reassess from a distance.

So bear that in mind. If you don’t have a cat… go away.

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Single Guy Amazingly Recreates Sisters Family Photos With A Cat

You know what it’s like when you’re steadily ageing and all your friends around you are getting real jobs and their own families and stuff, and you’re there thinking you’re doing well in life because you managed to get tickets to the new Star Wars film?

I don’t. I have that Benjamin Button thing (I did manage to get Star Wars tickets though… playyaaaaa). But this guy does!

Well sort of… it’s his sister that’s being all grown up and proper but, you know, same thing.

Gordy Yates is 28-years-old and he’s alive and everything… but that’s like it. His twin sister, Meredith, is also 28 (obviously) and she’s a mother of two (kids).

Speaking in his blog, Gordy said:

“Im the worst brother because I never get her anything for her birthday. Generally, I dont get someone a birthday present if they live far away, so I usually dont get her ANYTHING even though she always gets me something.”

So he decided to do something different…

He started by copying her wearing funky trousers and chilling with white cars but the real magic is when he gets a cat involved…

He told Babble he asked around for someone who’d let him borrow theircat, “which wasnt weird at all since Im new to the area and am just getting to know people.”

He went on to say how cats and kids are pretty similar…

They both like to eat off of and crawl on the floor, they both like to bite me, theyre both really small, theyre both really hard to control, and I cant give birth to either of them,”

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Lions Shot Dead After Naked Man Jumps Into Zoos Enclosure In Suicide Bid

Two lions were shot dead after a naked man jumped into their cage at Santiago’s Metropolitan Zoo in Chile.

The 20-year-old was mauled when he entered their cage in what is being reported as a suicide attempt. The man, who has been named asFranco Luis Ferrada Roman, was saved by a zoo keeper who intervened and shot the two lions. Romanwas taken to hospital where he is now believed to be in a stable condition, he had several injuries and trauma to the head and the pelvic area.A park director later confirmed that a note, which is believed to be a suicide note, was found in his clothing.

Alejandra Montalva, the Zoo’s director, told Mail Online:

“We believe that this person entered as a visitor and paid for his ticket.

“Later he trespassed into an area where the public are not normally allowed and we understand that he forced the roof of the lions enclosure.”

“It was from there that he jumped, took off his clothes and started to attract the lions.

Montalva went on to say that there wasno fast acting tranquilizers available at the time, addingthat she has beendeeply affected by the deaths of the two lions.

Other witnesses have claimed that the man was shouting religious things and that the zoo was slow to react to the situation. The man’s actions haven’t gone down well on social media.

This footage was taken at the zoo.

Warning: Some viewers may find this distressing

What do you think? Let us know in the comments.

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14 Of The Weirdest Animals Found In No Mans Sky

No man’s sky is the phenomenon currently taking over the gaming world. Your basically given a whole universe to explore and countless things to find. And that’s no exaggeration, there are trillions of planet-sized planets in the game.

So far, there have already been more animals discovered by the players of this game than in real life on Earth and, whilst some of them are crazy cool, some are pretty odd…

1. It’s like if your favourite teddy bear came alive but not in a Ted way, more of a Chucky way…

2. Look at this dick head…

3. He looks delighted to have been discovered!

4. The top half of a burger bun with worms for legs.

5. Physics.

6. It’s either eating a melon in a really weird wayorits headis a melon..?

7. I don’t even know.

8. It’s a tree?

9. Sonic

10. No thanks

11. Ah yes, the exposed brain crabtopus

12. It’s like a pissed off fish head on the body of a bellsprout

13. God it has the face of aporcelaindoll

14. Are… are it’s teeth on the outside?

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Animals Discuss David Attenborough In Hilarious Birthday Tribute

David Attenborough turns 90 today, and – to celebrate – the folks over at Aardman Animations have put together some hilarious tributes, from the animals that Attenborough has met over his career..

Yes, the people behind Wallace and Gromitand Creature Comforts have (in conjunction with the BBC) created cartoons of penguins and lyrebirds discussing the living legend that is Attenborough.

Check them out here:

The BBC are airing a special tribute programme –Attenborough at 90 – for David, tonight at 7.

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Anonymous Is Now Hacking A Country Because They Kill Whales

Iceland is a pretty great country to be honest. They have waterfalls, lagoons, and the Northern Lights…

Their literacy rate is 99%, the sun never sets (at least not in summer) and they have a handy app to make sure no-one inadvertently commits incest.

You would think that hacker group Anonymous would approve of Iceland – what with their liberal stance on refugee quotas, and their informative penis museums – but the hactivists have declared cyber war on the tiny island nation.

Why? They disapprove of Iceland’s whaling policies.

In a video posted online, Anonymous said:

“Whales do not have a voice. We will be a voice for them. Its time to speak out about this impending extinction of a species. Its time to let Iceland know we will not stand by and watch as they drive this animal to extinction.”

Whaling is frowned on internationally (to say the least), but along with Norway and Japan, Iceland continues to hunt whales for their meat.

Just when we thought there wasn’t a single blemish on this volcano-garnished, hot-spring adorned, incest-free paradise!

Anonymous have called for a boycott on Icelandic products, and have already shut down at least five of their government’s websites, vowing to expose the cruel practices involved in whaling.

You can watch Anonymous declare war on Iceland – liberal, beautiful – yet whale murdering Iceland – here:

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Sign This Petition To Stop People Who Torture Animals Owning Pets Again

There is nothing good to be said about people who hurt animals, and now there is a petition to try and stop them from ever owning a pet again.

It emerged this week that a little chihuahua called Chunky had been tortured by four teenagers, before being left for dead next tosome bins at the side of the road.

He was found with a broken leg, neck, a burnt face and eyes and had even been force-fed drugs by the teens, who had tortured the poor pup over a number of hours, apparently for their own “amusement”…

The RSPCA officer dealing with the case said:

“This was the most disturbing case I have ever dealt with, by an absolute mile. These youths admitted feeding him drugs, kicking and punching him, and wringing and breaking his neck before dumping him. They also said they set fire to his face and eyes after lighting a deodorant aerosol can. The whole thing sends shivers down my spine.”

Chunky made a miraculous recovery and is happy with a new family (above).

Shockingly though, the boys were only banned from owning an animal for five years. Yes, five years before they could potentially find another dog to have “fun” with.

So one dog-lover, and just generally sane person, Maxine Berry has set up a petition asking David Cameron to permanently ban people who abuse animals. Which, when you think about it, makes crystal clear sense…

You can sign the petition here, and help stop dogs like Chunky being hurt again.

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Jonah Hill And Miles Teller Flirt With Guns And Danger In War Dogs Trailer

The true story of two 20-something-year-old stoners who became international arms dealers,War Dogsis the latestcomedy/drama fromThe Hangover director Todd Phillips.

Starring Miles Teller and Jonah Hill asDavid Packouz and Efraim Diveroli – the unlikely winners of a$300 million Pentagon contract to supply arms to America’s Afghani allies – the film is already being likened to The Wolf of Wall Street,in that it charts the quasi-illegal activities of those trying to make a lot of money.

The Hangover alumnus Bradley Cooper makes an appearance as somesort of shady criminal, encountered by Teller and Hill as they attempt to navigate the dangerous underbelly of the world of arms dealing.

Check out the trailer here:

What do you think? Let us know in the comments…

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A Puppy In An Aliens Power Loader Suit

A neat little idea for a cute little puppy from the people of Tested. But Ripley doesn’t seem to like the Power Loader Suit from “Aliens” as much as the original actor…

“While at this year’s DesignerCon, Frank Ippolito and Bill Doran (Punished Props) take on an impromptu build project: making a foam power loader costume for Ripley the Boston Terrier puppy.”

via: laughingsquid

Source: http://www.viralviralvideos.com

Duck Walks Into A Bar, Downs A Pint, Fights A Dog

It might sound like the start of a bad joke, but ‘duck walks into a bar, downs a pint and then gets into a scrap with a dog’, is in this case, a factual statement.

Star (the duck) is famous for enjoying a pint with his ownerBarrie Hayman in Devon. But this time, he might have had one too many.

Barriealso has a dog – Meggie – who usually gets on fine with Star. But as hetold

Whether or not his relationship with Meggie can be repaired remains to be seen…

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This Woman Believes That Shes In The Wrong Body, And Is Actually A Cat

20-year-old Nano can see in the dark, hisses whenever she sees a dog and likes to sleep on the windowsill, or in the sink.

She’s been trying to catch a mouse (although she hasn’t succeeded yet) and being in busy, public spaces can be stressful for her.

This is because Nano, in short, is a cat. Or at least, she believes she is.

She wears cat ears on a headband, as well as a fake tail, and although she’s largely adapted to human life, she prefers to walk on four legs, and communicate by meowing.

Nano believes she was born as a cat, and while her psychiatrist thinks she’ll grow out of this, Nano’s pretty adamant that she won’t. Although at one time, she was so much cat she’d forgotten how to be human – so couldn’t walk on two legs or eat with a knife and fork – she’s been working hard to behave like a person.

And she even has a cat friend. Although Svein is a human, he has a ‘cat personality’, and so can understand what Nano’s miaows mean.

You can check out a video of her talking about being a cat here:

To be honest, we do not know what to make of this. Anyone?

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Everything Wrong With The Secret Life Of Pets

A few hours ago Cinema Sins uploaded their new issue of “Everything Wrong With…”. This time the animated movie “The Secret Life Of Pets” gets a video critic – and you can be sure that this video will get a lot more than the 70,000 views it now has.

“Here is a movie that wants so very hard to be a good movie. It’s not, but it wishes it was. Instead it’s just… ugh.”

Source: http://www.viralviralvideos.com

Reviews Of Sugar-Free Gummy Bears Are The Funniest Thing Youll Read This Week

Anyone who has spent any time on the internet will know not to eat sugar-free gummy bears.

They’re kind of renowned for being pretty good at giving you the sh*ts. Here are some of the most entertaining Amazon reviews of the hellish little treats:

1. “Good thing today was my day off

What was once white but is now brown all over? No, no one has gotten a reverse Michael Jackson operation except my poor, unsuspecting toilet. It has only been two hours since I consumed 23 of these delectable gummies and I have already pulled a hat-trick in the bathroom. It has gotten to the point where my next Amazon purchase will have to be an industrial sized container of vaseline, because my scratchy 2-ply is quite literally sandpapering me away. If there is anything left of my intestines, I am sure to reach them soon at the rate of my wiping.

2. “Be sure to buy Oxyclean too!

Be sure to also buy a tub of Oxyclean with this to get the blood and diarrhea stains out of your underwear, clothes, furniture, pets, loved ones, ceiling fans.

3. “You dont understand.

I was glued to the toilet seat. Streams of fire burst from my colon. When i wasnt experiencing Satans fury exploding from my rear, i was laying in the fetal position on my bathroom floor, sobbing and asking for forgiveness. Im a 280 pound man. I. Was. Sobbing.

When it was finally over, i couldnt move. I crawled onto the floor one last time and sat, motionless, until my dehydration finally required that i drink water. The other reviews are perfectly accurate. This is absolutely, 100% true.

Eat two at a time. Three if youre brave. But for the love of God and all things on this earth, DO NOT EAT ANY MORE.

4.”Just dont. Unless its a gift for someone you hate.

What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM

5.”Yup – Believe the hype!

I saw the product reviews and told some coworkers, so we bought a bag (because who doesnt want to spend the workday on the toilet AND get paid, right??). Brought them in yesterday morning and a bunch of the guys immediately downed a handful each. Within half an hour they were in the bathroom. Best moment of the day was when one of them (who had been in the bathroom for half an hour by that point) texted one of the others. If you think its a fart.its NOT. hahhaaaaaa

6. “Its. All. True.

OMG. Everything previously written is true. Its all true. Dont eat more than 15 in a sitting unless you are trying to power wash your intestines.

7. “Excellent taste, in small portions.

During one of the last of the 8 trips to the bathroom, I released such a large volume of gas that my external anal sphincter could not do its job, and remained open/relaxed, while about 4.5-5 seconds of gas was expelled. Ive never experienced, or even heard of that happening. It was so unnatural, that I had to check to feel if my colon had somehow passed through the anal sphincter muscle.

And production company ‘Stray Mongrel’ havecreated a hilarious re-enactment of some of the reviews – check it out:

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