Reviews Of Sugar-Free Gummy Bears Are The Funniest Thing Youll Read This Week

Anyone who has spent any time on the internet will know not to eat sugar-free gummy bears.

They’re kind of renowned for being pretty good at giving you the sh*ts. Here are some of the most entertaining Amazon reviews of the hellish little treats:

1. “Good thing today was my day off

What was once white but is now brown all over? No, no one has gotten a reverse Michael Jackson operation except my poor, unsuspecting toilet. It has only been two hours since I consumed 23 of these delectable gummies and I have already pulled a hat-trick in the bathroom. It has gotten to the point where my next Amazon purchase will have to be an industrial sized container of vaseline, because my scratchy 2-ply is quite literally sandpapering me away. If there is anything left of my intestines, I am sure to reach them soon at the rate of my wiping.

2. “Be sure to buy Oxyclean too!

Be sure to also buy a tub of Oxyclean with this to get the blood and diarrhea stains out of your underwear, clothes, furniture, pets, loved ones, ceiling fans.

3. “You dont understand.

I was glued to the toilet seat. Streams of fire burst from my colon. When i wasnt experiencing Satans fury exploding from my rear, i was laying in the fetal position on my bathroom floor, sobbing and asking for forgiveness. Im a 280 pound man. I. Was. Sobbing.

When it was finally over, i couldnt move. I crawled onto the floor one last time and sat, motionless, until my dehydration finally required that i drink water. The other reviews are perfectly accurate. This is absolutely, 100% true.

Eat two at a time. Three if youre brave. But for the love of God and all things on this earth, DO NOT EAT ANY MORE.

4.”Just dont. Unless its a gift for someone you hate.

What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM

5.”Yup – Believe the hype!

I saw the product reviews and told some coworkers, so we bought a bag (because who doesnt want to spend the workday on the toilet AND get paid, right??). Brought them in yesterday morning and a bunch of the guys immediately downed a handful each. Within half an hour they were in the bathroom. Best moment of the day was when one of them (who had been in the bathroom for half an hour by that point) texted one of the others. If you think its a fart.its NOT. hahhaaaaaa

6. “Its. All. True.

OMG. Everything previously written is true. Its all true. Dont eat more than 15 in a sitting unless you are trying to power wash your intestines.

7. “Excellent taste, in small portions.

During one of the last of the 8 trips to the bathroom, I released such a large volume of gas that my external anal sphincter could not do its job, and remained open/relaxed, while about 4.5-5 seconds of gas was expelled. Ive never experienced, or even heard of that happening. It was so unnatural, that I had to check to feel if my colon had somehow passed through the anal sphincter muscle.

And production company ‘Stray Mongrel’ havecreated a hilarious re-enactment of some of the reviews – check it out:

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11 Pictures That Prove Animals Can See The Pokemon Youre Trying To Catch

So it seems animals can not only see ghosts but also Pokemon too.

… Does this mean we should all start investing in Pokemon sniffer dogs? If there are any pet shelters reading this, feel free to use this idea for your next rehoming campaign. You’re welcome.

Here are 11 pets who have definitely spotted a Pokemon:

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Here’s to hoping my cat might find Pikachu for me…

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This Is What It Would Look Like If We Evolved From Other Animals

Evolution didn’t happen. We’re all lapping up the lies fed to us by “the man”! The Queen’s a lizard and so is everyone else in charge. Aliens built the pyramids and now they’re watching us…

Or, you know… none of that is right and we evolved from apes. It’s one or the other, really.

But have you ever wondered what it would be like if we evolved from other animals? Me neither. But just in case…

1. Wild Boar

2. Bull

3. Camel

4. Cat

5. Donkey

6. Eagle

7. Fox

8. Lion

9. Lynx

10. Monkey

11. Mountain Goat

12. Owl

13. Parrot

14. Wabbit

15. Raccoon

16. Mountain Goat

It’s all very interesting but I can’t help but think that, if we evolved from birds, we’d have beaks – not just big noses.

Which one is your favourite? Let us know in the comments!

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Ricky Gervais Has Helped Save Hundreds Of Starving Dogs

TV funnyman Ricky Gervais is definitely not afraid to say it how it is when it comes to saving helpless animals.

So when he saw a plea for help from a Romanian dog shelter, the star jumped into action on Twitter. The shelter, which is in the city of Odai, was inundated with 680 dogs and lacked the food, bowls and beds for them.

Fresh from The Emmys, Ricky retweeted a fundraising page set up to help the shelter by London-based dog charity

The shelter have even named one of the dogs after Ricky, as a thanks for his help. The K-9 angels wrote:

Thank you The Mirror and Ricky Gervais for highlighting this.

The K-9 Angels cant thank you enough for tweeting and sharing our posts and saving lives!! Ricky you are an angel!!

We really cant thank you all enough for donating to help these dogs, your support has been incredible! X

Brilliant!

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These Are The Most Lifelike Balloon Animals Youll Ever See Ever.

If you asked me to make a balloon animal right now, I’d ask you what you were doing in my office. I’d then give it a go (always trying to please) but then fail miserably.

UnlikeMasayoshi Matsumoto. The 26-year-old chemical engineer is a self-taught balloon artist who makes crazy-intricate animals out of the rubbery joy (that has to be the weirdest way to say balloons ever… short of glorified condoms).

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Anyway, have a look and bear in mind that I’m no David Attenborough – my captions will NOT be 100% accurate…

1. A baboon

2. So I thought this one was a baboon until I saw the other one so, I don’t know, really. Some kind of monkey, perhaps?

3. A bull standing on several starfish

4. A pokmon

5. A dove with an egg cracked on top of it

6. One of the things they eat on I’m a Celebrity

7. Mr Krabs under a duvet

8. Bug sex

9. A corn on the cob that’s grown a head, legs and a tail.

10. A surprised, winged insect

11. I’ve been told this is an isopod

12. I know this one. A kingfisher. You’ve got Indian beer to thank for that.

13. A pissed of lightbulb

14. A phoenix. They’re not real, right?

15. Ssssnnaaaakkkee

16. A striped prick.

Check out all of his amazing work HERE

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Guy Cant Get A Date To Prom, So Takes His Cat Instead

A hero for our time, one guy has shrugged off society’s expectations, and taken his main girl to prom.

His cat.

Yes. After Imgur user caroline12006’sbrother couldn’t get a date, he decided to buy a dress for his cat, and take her with him instead.

(This will no doubt have instantly made him the most popular person there).

The pictures have gone viral, getting thousands of comments. There’s “the cat really thinks he’s dreamy”, there’s “I hope that someday someone will look at me the way she looks at him <3″, and then there’s the inevitable, “I bet he gets p*ssy tonight…”.

As well as (we’re presuming) being Prom Queen, Ruby the cat is alsothe star of her very own Instagram:

I hate my family #meow

A photo posted by Ruby the Pretty Kitty (@rubytheprettykitty) on

Peek-a-boo #SneakyKitty #Pounce #Meow

A photo posted by Ruby the Pretty Kitty (@rubytheprettykitty) on

Whoops opened the front camera #SelfieSunday #CatCam #Meow

A photo posted by Ruby the Pretty Kitty (@rubytheprettykitty) on

Just chillin #Acrobatics #BoredKitty #Meow

A photo posted by Ruby the Pretty Kitty (@rubytheprettykitty) on

Let us know what you think in the comments!

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Turtle Beach retakes the gaming audio throne with the Elite Pro Tournament headset

In the years since Turtle Beach became a household name, the company has seen intense competition from the likes of SteelSeries, Tritton, and many other high-end headset manufacturers. Now, Turtle Beach is aiming to retake its throne with a new line of ultra-high-end audio gear that is the epitome of premium.

A long history

During the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 era, the Turtle Beach name was synonymous with hardcore gaming. If you had a Turtle Beach headset, you were immediately at a huge advantage in most fast-paced online shooters: You could hear an enemys footsteps with such clarity that picking off foes before they knew what hit them was a relatively simple task.

Over time, Turtle Beach continued to roll out new-and-improved versions of its headsets for various platforms, and eventually the companys product lineup became somewhat cluttered. It was hard to determine what headset was the best of the best, and when competing brands began to muscle into the space, gamers who were once dedicated Turtle Beach fanatics eventually began to branch out.

The Turtle Beach Elite Pro headset and its ultra-premium accessories are clearly the absolute top of the companys product line, with the highest-quality components, and there is no longer any doubt what the best Turtle Beach headset is. This is it.

Top-of-the-line audio

Lets get the specs out of the way up front: The Elite Pro uses 3.5mm stereo audio jacks for all of its connections, and it will work with both the Xbox One and PlayStation 4when plugged into their respective controllers. Each ear cup house a 50mm NanoClear speaker, and the headset weighs just over a pound. The ear pads are a mix of leather and memory foam, and theres an adjustable ProSpecs feature that creates small indentations in the pads if you game while wearing glasses, so theres no added pressure on the sides of your face.

Mike Wehner

The build quality is nothing short of what youd expect from a headset that costs $200; the plastic that encases each ear cup is thick and rigid, and the two-tier headband is extremely sturdy. The foam padding on the inside of the headband is firm but still comfortable, and you can adjust both the tension of the headband and the drop of the ear cups, so if you have a big dome or game while wearing a hatlike I often dothe pads will still feel secure when the size is maxed out.

The headphone cable has a breakaway point just a few inches down the wire, which is a godsend if you hate having to wrap your wired headsets in a lengthy cable, and the removable microphone easily snaps in and out without a fuss. Theres even a tiny plastic arm that holds the microphones foam windscreen in place, and as someone who has lost more of those little foam covers than I care to admit, this small addition makes me particularly giddy.

Mike Wehner

Of course, since this is a gaming headset, the sound quality matters more than anything Ive mentioned thus far, so lets get into it.

Turtle Beach uses a lot of fancyand trademarkedterms for its audio technology such as NanoClear and TruSpeak. After reading all of the documentation and blog posts, I still have no idea what those terms actually mean, but what I can tell you is that games sound absolutely fantastic with this headset.

I put the Elite Pro through a few different tests, including many, many rounds of Overwatch, hours upon hours of DayZ, and even a few days where I just listened to my Spotify playlist while working. In Overwatch, listening for another players ultimate attack sound cue was easier than ever, and Ill go ahead and give credit for at least a dozen ambushes in DayZ to Turtle Beach as well.

This isnt to say that you dont have to make sure your own computers (or consoles) audio settings are correctly tunedtheres no headset on the planet that will make bad settings sound goodbut the Elite Pro manages to nail both the crisp highs of grassy footsteps and the deep thump of a grenade explosion better than pretty much any headset Ive ever tested, and Ive been doing headset reviews for the better part of a decade. Its very, very good.

In fact, theres literally only one thing that could possibly make the headset, by itself, sound better, and Turtle Beach actually built that, too.

Elite Pro TAC

Mike Wehner

The Elite Pro TAC (short for Tactical Audio Controller) is an optional accessory for the Elite Pro headset, but once I tried the two in tandem, I found it extremely difficult to go back. The TAC sits separate from the headset, on a desk or coffee table, and acts like an extra audio brain.

The TAC features individual sliders for mic boost, background noise cancellation, outbound mic monitoring, and a mixer slider for gaming and chat audio. The large dial acts as the master volume control, and a pair of buttons on the top let you cycle through a total of 16 different audio modes.

Mike Wehner

It connects to the headset via 3.5mm jacks, but its system connection options are much more robust, allowing you to use inputs and outputs for optical audio connections, as well as a USB output to connect to a PC or Mac using something other than a standard audio jack. The TAC can also be chained with others for in-game communication in tournament settings, showing Turtle Beachs dedication to making the Elite Pro the go-to esports headset for both professional gamers and amateurs with big dreams.

Whats particularly great for the PC gaming crowd is the TACs ability to pull double duty as both an audio controller and an external USB sound card with full 7.1 surround sound capability. Thats a massive bonus, considering such cards usually cost a significant amount on their own.

The different audio presets are really the star of the show with the TAC. There are settings for various types of music, several movie genres, and of course a plethora of options for gaming. Theres even a mode dedicated specifically to pinpointing footsteps which is so good that it almost feels like cheating. Almost.

Elite Pro Tournament Noise-Cancelling Microphone

Mike Wehner

Along with the headset and TAC, I was able to try out another tournament-minded accessory for the Elite Pro: the Elite Pro Tournament Noise-Cancelling Microphone. Its a mouthful in name, and also a mouthful in size, with a massive mouthpiece and extra thick adjustable boom.

Unlike the TACwhich takes the entire Elite Pro experience from great to superbthis microphone doesnt add a ton to the overall package. Its big and sturdy, which is great, but in terms of audio quality, it was difficult for me or my online teammates to choose between it and another mic.

The consensus seemed to be that there was very little difference between the default Elite Pro headset and this tournament-grade option. Both sound good, but unless youre playing in an area with a ton of noise, this fancy mics marquee feature will go largely underutilized. In short, its a great add-on if youre going to be playing in a crowded stadiumhence its Tournament brandingbut most dedicated gamers will do just fine with the fantastic mic thats already in the box.

The Elite Pro headset ($199.95), Elite Pro TAC ($199.95), and Elite Pro Tournament Noise-Cancelling Microphone ($29.95) are currently available for pre-order, and will hit retail shelveson June 12, 2016.

Disclosure: Turtle Beach Elite Pro headset and accessories were provided for review purposes by Turtle Beach.

Source: http://www.dailydot.com/

Ever Wondered What Animals Look Like With Forward Facing Eyes? You Can Stop Now

So one of humanity’s (and most great apes in general) big turning points in evolution was when our eyes started facing forwards. I’m not particularly sure why and I think it would be fun to see what we’d look like with eyes on the side of our faces. That’s why I’m not in charge of species genetics… probably.

But what would it look like if other animals had eyes facing forward? It’s an odd question, I know, but I had to find a way to link the intro into the actual content… just have a look below, courtesy of imgur.

1. Birds

2. Chicken (a form of bird)

3. Cows

4. Deer

5. Dolphins

6. The same dolphin… or a different one. I’m not beingprejudicedor anything, saying that all dolphins look alike. It was an honest mistake.

7. A lovely giraffe

8. Goats

9. A seagull (also a form of bird… I should have thought this through)

10. Christ another bird. A Pigeon, everybody

11. A good, honest rabbit.

12. An instantly less menacing shark.

I mean, this is basically what Pixar do for every animal but, for some reason, these look less real.

Disney Pixar

Anyway, what do you think? Let us know in the comments!

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Dogs Arent Allowed On The Subway Unless Theyre In A Carrier. These Guys Found A Loophole

So dogs have been banned on the New York subway… well, not all dogs. The dogs that have been banned are the ones that matter. Basically, you can’t bring a dog onto the train with you unless it’s carry-able within a bag. You know the sort I mean…

Yeah. Not real dogs, really.

Luckily, some people have found glorious exceptions to the rules and they really deserve our commendation…

1. It’s not often you see shame in a dog’s eyes.

2. This one just looks like he’s ready to have a bash up

3. Do you think the bags are empty other than the dogs? Like is there a tin of vaseline and a twix in there too?

4. Now that’s what you want to see. Delighted.

5. The guy looks embarrassed like it was the dog’s idea…

6. I’m not convinced there’s a whole dog in there.

7. This one seems like cheating. Mind you, carrying two beagles seems a little heavy-handed… literally.

8. …Not sure I know this breed?

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Careless whisker: Universal to release album for cats

David Teie from University of Maryland creates Music for Cats featuring purring, suckling noises and cello to calm felines

They are a particularly tough audience picky, moody, often impossible to please but cats represent an untapped music market, according to one of the worlds biggest record labels.

Universal Music has announced it will be the first major label to release an album that is not for human consumption although, until cats get bank accounts, humans will have to pay for it.

David Teie, an American cellist and music researcher based at the University of Maryland, has created Music for Cats, saying it is an absolutely serious undertaking . He said: It is the biggest challenge with this, people think it is silly. But I think it is the way the brain works . If I look at a door and say thats a fish, you are going to say thats a door . Everybody knows what music is and animals are not included. If you really look into it, whats silly is the idea that only one species could have music available for it.

Source: http://www.theguardian.com/us

Animal Activist Saves 1000 Dogs From The Yulin Dog Meat Festival

The Yulin dog meat festival occurs every year at the beginning of the summer solstice in China, as the belief that eating dog meat will help one’s body to cope with the heat presides.

Over the ten-day course of the controversial festival, 10,000 dogs are expected to be slaughtered and eaten. Although around 15 million dogs are killed a year for food in China, it’s the Yulin festival that riles up animal activists the most.

Activists such as America Marc Ching who travelled to China for the festival to try and save as many dogs as possible…

As his Facebook page would have it, as of last night, he and his accomplice, Valarie Ianniello, managed to save over 1000 dogs so far.

Amongst his methods, he buys the dogs from the slaughterhouses and then ships them to America for rehabilitation. He also persuades people to stop working in that trade as well as helping them set up new businesses. He says that many are in it purely for the money and not the tradition.

Having said that, Marc doesn’t always come across such amicable people and, every now and then, they act violently against him…


It’s not just Marc, either – Animal activists from China have been getting involved left, right and centre and, with the pressure on the state, authorities have dissociated themselves with the festival completely.

Nevertheless, organisers of the festival are still aiming to restore it to its former glory. Here’s to hoping that doesn’t happen…

What do you think? Let us know in the comments!

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Simon Cowell Furious After Trembling Puppies Used On Britains Got More Talent

If there’s one thing everyone knows about Simon Cowell, other than his penchant for weirdly high-waisted trousers, it’s that he loves dogs.

And during a recent episode of Britain’s Got Talent’s companion show, Cowell was faced with terrified little puppies and he wasn’t happy about it.

The puppies were part of a quiz hosted by Stephen Mulhern, that involved BGT-related questions with adorable little puppies a prizes. However, the little Dalmatian looked terrified – probably by the large audience and new environment. Or, you know, the close proximity to Simon’s chest hair.

Simon quickly ditched the quiz when he realised how terrified his puppy was and got up to return him/her to his owner and put him in his carrier. He was reportedly heard telling production staff:They shouldnt be doing this.

And then allegedly spent some time with the owners making sure the puppies were well looked after and admitting that they should be taken home.

Mulhern went on to apologize later in the show for the use of the puppies, saying:

‘Very quickly, I just want to apologise if we upset anybody with the puppies. Obviously that was not our intention in any shape or form.

So if we have upset you in any way I do apologise on behalf of Britains Got More Talent.

And fans praised Simon for his actions:

Here’s a clip of the quiz and apology:


What do you think? Let us know in the comments

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Cows Are Officially The Most Dangerous Animals In Britain

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Felix The Cat Works At A Train Station And Just Got A Promotion

You know how you work a hard job and and get paid a pittance whilst hardly getting any recognition whatsoever? Yeah. Well a cat’s just got a promotion because, you know, it’s a cat and it’s 2016 and people like to be kooky for the internet.

Felix the cat is an employee atHuddersfield train station with a high-visibility jacket and a badge and everything. It’s not 100% sure whether she’s on a payroll or not (I sort of assume she’s not) but she has been officially promoted… which is stupid nice.

Maybe I’m being mean. It’s a fun little thing that’s not harming anyone. She’s got the role ofofficial pest control managerwhich sort of taps into her skill set nicely, so there’s that.

Delays reported to the 0640 Airport service. Not to worry.

Posted by Felix the Huddersfield Station Cat on Tuesday, 5 January 2016

Felix has a Facebook page and everything with over 29,000 likes so she’s up there with Puss in Boots, Top Cat, Thomas from Aristocats and all the cats from Cats.

Well, the fame hasn’t quite gone to her head. As with most cats, they already think the world revolves around them. She’s getting more treats and more attention, so all in all she’s very happy,” one of her owners told BuzzFeed.

And fair play to a catthat gets its own door. I have to use the same door everyone else here does like some kind of chump.

So there’s a cat in management. How do you feel about that? Let us know in the comments!

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This Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Porn Parody Will Ruin Your Childhood

Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles, what a brilliant name for a porn parody.

“Ten inches” I hear you cry. “How did this happen?” Well, some horny fella who worked at a nuclear power plant managed to spill his radioactive sperm into the sewer and onto the turtles. Moments later they have ten inch growths on their unmentionables. It’s a watertight story line, which I’m sure is what you’re here for.

That, and to learn what the best kind of porn is, which is pizza guy porn of course.

Meet the brilliantly named cast.

You can watch the full, naked video over at Wood Rocket.

H/T: Uproxx

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Hilarious Comic Strip Tells Us What Animals Are Really Saying

What do animals get up to when they’re not busy being patronised by us? It’s weird to think that they have their whole lives that have nothing to do with humans…

Like when two dogs are barking, what are they going on about? The weather? Some cat? Or do they just like making noise? It’s hard to tell, really.

Luckily, They Can Talk (a comic strip) is around to give us an insight into what they’re talking about… we’re not sure how the artist got the information but, you know… we trust him.

Finally. It’s about time we knew what whales were shouting when they jumped out of the water and all this time the sharks where just trying to help!

Did that horse one upset anyone else?

What did you think? Let us know in the comments!

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These Shocking Illustrations Put Humans In The Place Of Animals

Hoping to offer a different perspective on animal rights, Bored Panda have collected cartoonsthat imagine what life would be like if animals were the dominant species, and behaved towards humans the way we behave towards them.

The result is a shocking (and occasionally upsetting– so be warned) series of images that is intended to make us “think differently about the way that humans treat animals”.

Check them out, and see what you think:

For more cartoons, head over to Bored Panda to check out the whole collection.

And let us know what you think of these cartoons in the comments. Have they made you change the way you think about animal rights?

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These Creepy New Werewolf Cats Act Just Like Dogs

Ever wished you could have a cat that acted like a dog? This week, a new ‘werewolf’ cat breed was introduced to the world. And they’re prettymuch the best of both worlds.

Lykoi (Greek for wolves) have earned the nickname because they’re bred to act like hound dogs rather than cats.They wag their tails, track scents, and play fetch. They also look thoroughly wolf-esque.

And, according to their founder (should we say creator? leader?) Dr. Johnny Gobble, the bizarre hybrid is far more loyal than the average feline.

The breed isnaturally occurring and hasa mutation which causes their fur to be patchy, giving them their werewolf-like appearance.
While the breed is incrediblyunique, Gobble says that they’re perfectly healthy and thatextensivetests have ruled out any major health concerns.

The bad news? Since the breed is so new, a Lykoi will set you back about $2,500. And there’s a seriously long waiting list, too.

Which is unfortunate because we want seven. Maybe eight.

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This Weird New Pet Brush Wants You To Lick Your Cat

Sometimes when I’m walking home from the train station, I’ll see a cat wandering about and I’ll have to compelling urge to lick it.

But I don’t want to get a load of hair on my tongue. Everyone knows that having hair stuck in the back of your throat is on par with being water-boarded in a Thai prison.

So what can people like me do? How are we going to live with not licking cats?

SALVATION! Someone’s invented a a tongue attachment thing that allows you to brush your cat (or dog? (or anything hairy…)) while licking them!

If you don’t believe me…

I mean… what’s the thought behind this? Brush your cat but look like someone who isn’t allowed within 100 yards of a pet shop at the same time?

And what a fantastic slogan they’ve came up with – “Licki Brush: Lick your cat”. It’s truly inspired. SOMEONE PROBABLY GOT PAID TO COME UP WITH THAT!

The product is still in its production stage and is apparently getting a kickstarter page in the very near future.

GET YOURS WHILE STOCKS LAST!

What do you think? Let us know in the comments!

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The Secret Life Of Pets Review Youre In For A Treat

What do our pets do when we’re not at home? Sleep? Pine for us? Steal out of the fridge? Sleep some more?

According to The Secret Life of Pets, yes, they do all of these things. But, while watchinganimals snoozing might be cute at first, it probably wouldn’t be engaging enough to sustain a 90 minute feature film…

That’s why it’s a good thing that Max’sowner Katie (Ellie Kemper) brings him home a brother. You see, Max (Louis C.K.) and this new “brother” (Duke, voiced by Modern Family’s Eric Stonestreet) don’t exactly get along. They squabble, they torment each other and – besides – Max can’t stand that he has to share Katie’s affections with another dog.

Before too long, Max and Duke’s squabbling gets out of hand, and they manage to get themselves lost. And not only do they manage to get themselves lost: they also inadvertently get themselves involved with a gang of human-hating ex-pets, headed up by a ferocious (yet very adorable) bunny rabbit (Kevin Hart, the best part of the film).

Now, if you swap “Katie” with “Andy”, Max with “Woody” and Duke with “Buzz”, what you’ve got so far is pretty much the firstToy Story. (Andy brings home Buzz, Woody and Buzz hate each other, Woody and Buzz get lost together, and Woody and Buzz have to overcome their differences to make their way home).

There’s even a comparison to be made between Kevin Hart’s Snowball, and the sadistic Sid (although admittedly, that might be pushing it a bit).

But, don’t write The Secret Life of Pets off as a carbon-copy of Toy Story just yet. While it might share some similarities (what pets do when we’re not looking/ what toys do when we’re not looking being the glaringly obvious one), it also has a lot – and I mean a lot – that’s new and original.

The multi-faceted characters, for example, are a particular strength. You see, whileMax and Duke are trying to escape this terrifying gang, Max’s domesticated mates (Jenny Slate as some sort of tiny poodle, Lake Bell as a very fat cat, Hannibal Burress as a sausage dog and Albert Brooks as a hawk) launch a rescue mission that involves them leaving the safety of their homes, and journeying out into the big bad world (New York, in this case) in an effort to bring their friend home.

While the main players here areMax and Duke, this motley crew of their would-be rescuers have enough adventures to sustain another film entirely. Plus, while Max and Duke have issues to work out, their only function is to be funny. (A scene that you’ll struggle to forgetseesChloe the cat wreak havoc at a house party, and could have been lifted from “Cats Do The Funniest Things”).

Then there’s Kevin Hart, whowas – quite frankly – born for this role of an evil fluffy bunny. Stealing every scene that he’s in,Snowball is high-energy hilarious to the extent that I found myself considering whether I should be joining his miscreant group ofhuman-hating ex-pets. And look how cute he is…

The plot might be a bit predictable, but The Secret Life of Pets is for kids – it’s not exactly going to attempt a ‘Bruce Willis was dead all along’ style twist. Besides, this is the kind of film that you want to be predictable.

You want the emotional heart-to-hearts between two dog “brothers”. You want the poojokes and the sausage factory montage. You want the adventure, but you want everything to work out in the end.

And then, when it’s all over, you’ll want to go home and hug your pets.

The Secret Life of Pets hits UK screens on the 24th June.

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Wild Bear Breaks Into Russian Shopping Centre, Roams Around And Is Shot Dead By Police

You know the old phrase “He’s like a bear in a Russian shopping centre”? Of course you do. Everyone does. Well it’s only gone and happened!

In case you’re not following, a wild bear broke into a Russian shopping centre and wreaked a mild amount of havoc. But sadly, the story doesn’t really have a charming Yogi Bear style ending.

No, the Police just bust in and shot it dead.

The validity of their actions are now being investigated by Russian authorities so at least there might be some closure.

Have a look at the newsy “highlights” below.

R.I.P bear, we’re sorry that your shopping trip ended in this horrible way.

Tell us what you think in the comments.

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The Worlds Worst Zoo Where Animals Starve To Death And Are Left To Mummify

WARNING: This article contains images some people may find distressing.

The privately run Khan Younis Zoo in South Gaza is being described as the ‘world’s worst zoo,’ and it’s easy to see why. The ongoing conflict in the area, and a shortage of funds, has made the zoo difficult to maintain. Things have gotten so bad that they exhibit dead, mummified animals in enclosures alongside living ones.

The animal protection organisationFour Paws have been trying to raise money to get much needed supplies to the zoos in Gaza. They were recently able to deliver enough food to get the animals through four weeks, but the problem is ongoing.

Here’s a video released by Four Paws

These upsetting images have shown how the animals have decayed over the years.

If you want to help by donating to Four Paws, then you can do so via this JustGiving page.

Image Credits: Daily Mail, Huffington Post

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This Bird Has A Hilarious Tantrum When His Owners Wont Take Him For A Walk

All Eric the cockatoo wanted, was to go for a walk. Is that really too much to ask?

Unfortunately for him, on this particular rainy day it was. Stuck inside, cooped up, Eric was pretty annoyed. And he decided to show his annoyance by throwinga pretty impressive strop.

As his owner watches on, Eric rips the lid off a jar of money, and starts throwing coins all over the place. Squawking away, we’re not sure if this can actually be classed as a tantrum. It looks to us like Eric was just trying to ‘make it rain’.

Eric’s ‘tantrum’ (if that’s what we’re going to call it) lasts for about two minutes. The poor cockatoo, who just wanted to get some exercise, then calms down a bit. In any case, we’re totally on his side.

You can watch it all kick off here:

That’ll show them!

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Singer-songwriter Andrew Bird’s latest music video tackles a tough topic.

By the time September rolled around, the city of Chicago was on the verge of its 500th murder in 2016.

In just over nine months, nearly 3,000 people in the city were shot, roughly matching the total for all of 2015. While the root cause of this violence can be debated, one thing people from around the political spectrum should be able to agree on is that something needs to be done.

Musician Andrew Bird wanted to do something about gun violence, especially as it concerned his hometown of Chicago.

That’s why he teamed up with Everytown for Gun Safety last fall. Together, Bird and the Everytown movement found a way to make gun safety a key theme in both his latest album (“Are You Serious?”) and its ensuing tour.

“The rhetoric around gun violence has gotten so reactionary that it seems no one is talking sense,” says Bird in a press release. “Everytown is an organization that is talking sense, making points that no one can argue with.”

What started as a plan to donate $1 from every ticket on his U.S. tour and sell special edition T-shirts in support of Everytown’s cause quickly turned into something much more ambitious.

Bird and Everytown joined forces with director Natalie Morales to create a music video meant to highlight not just the body count, but as Bird says, “the psychic toll that gun violence is taking on our citizens.”

In this latest endeavor, a music video for Bird’s 2013 song, “Pulaski at Night,” Bird, Morales, and Everytown take a look at the new reality of what it means to be a kid in America specifically, one in Chicago.

The “day in the life” style video centers around a single student as he navigates his way through disruptive lockdown drills during class and as he passes pop-up memorials for gun victims between home and school. It’s a reminder that the world isn’t as safe or as innocent as we’d like it to be for our children.

“I used to throw up my hands and say, What can we do? It’s complicated, but thats lame,” adds Bird. “Theres so much we can do and Everytown is out there doing it.”

Will this music video single-handedly put an end to gun violence? Of course not. Will it spark conversation about what we, as a society, can do to address this problem? Absolutely.

Everytown is pretty thrilled to have artists like Bird and Morales on board in their mission to promote gun safety through common sense solutions.

Jason Rzepka, director of cultural engagement at Everytown, stresses the importance of using a variety of strategies in bringing attention to this important issue, saying, “Eradicating gun violence from our communities will require all of us, using every tool at our disposal.”

You can watch the brand new music video for Andrew Bird’s “Pulaski at Night” below.

Source: http://www.upworthy.com/

Dog Goes Out To Pee, Accidentally Runs Half Marathon, Finishes 7th

While the vast majority of us can’t claim to have accidentally run a half marathon, two-and-a-half-year-old bloodhound Ludivine just did exactly that.

Prone to exploring Elkmont – the small town where she lives – by herself, when her owner April Hamlin let her out for a wee, Ludivineslipped out of her garden, and found her way (by chance) to the start of a half marathon.

Enthusiastic, excited by all the activity, Ludivine then proceeded to run the whole 13.1 miles along with theactual competitors.

As Tim Horvath, who spent most of the race running with Ludivine, told Runner’s World:

“One time she went over and met another dog next to the course. Later on, she went into a field with some mules and cows. Then shed come back and run around our legs. I wondered if she was going to get tired or go back to wherever her home was.”

But Ludivine didn’t get tired. She finished the race, coming in seventh.

Owner April didn’t find out what Ludivine had been up to, until her friends spotted the dog, wearing a medal, at the end of the race.

“My first reaction was that I was embarrassed and worried that she had possibly gotten in the way of the other runners.”

April was also surprised that her dog had managed the whole race, admitting that she was usually quitelazy. In any case, Ludivine was pretty tired after the race:

What a lovely dog.

Image Sources: Canadian Running, Runner’s World

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Meet The Guys Who Just Want To Live Their Lives As Puppies

It takes all sorts to fill a world. I once met a man that put his milk in first when making a cup of tea. That was pretty wild but, oddly, it seems impossibly tame when you compare it topuppy play.

What’s puppy play? Puppy play is when men dress themselves up in weird, full-bodied latex puppy outfits to fulfil some sort of fetish (although it’s not always sexual) and have people literally treat them like dogs – walk, treats, etc…

It’s been around for a while, I even met a few a while back…

It’s weird. They seriously don’t drop the act.

But why are people only interested in it now? Well, Channel 4 have made a documentary on it (as they often do with this kind of thing) and they’re offering a whole new and deeper insight into it…

Puppies can even find their respective handlers on message boards and forums today which is… nice? And whilst you might think these guys just put on their latex suits and go shagging in them, you’re only half right. Whilst some “puppies” do that, some are just lookingto find their identity.

The Guardian spoke to one pup who had a pretty deep tale (tail) to tell…

Toms discovery of puppy play came about gradually. He knew he liked sleeping in a collar, had a fetish for skin-tight clothing Lycra, rubber, even off-the-peg cycling shorts then came a dalmatian zentai suit he found on eBay, a 1 orange lead from Pets at Home until, eventually, a man in a club walked up to him and said: Oh right, so youre a pup. The realisation was not without its repercussions: it led to a breakup with his former fiancee Rachel and a move into a gay relationship with his new handler. Colin.

I wouldnt say it was the catalyst, but it was the straw that broke the camels back, says Tom. Then I had this moment of panic because a puppy without a collar is a stray; they dont have anyone to look after them. I started chatting to Colin online and he offered to look after me. Its a sad thing to say, but theres not love from the heart in me for Colin but what I have got is someone who is there for me and Im happy with that.

As they would have it, the main attraction to being a puppy is the emotional freedom. You’re able to connect with (willing) people on a far simpler level and, if you do have a (willing) handler, you really don’t have many cares to worry about.

Obviously, for some, there is a huge sexual element. Puppy Play is a sub-genre of BDSM, after all.

The thing is, if you want to dress up as a puppy, fill your boots. Nothing’s stopping you, be a little friendly dog if that’s what takes your fancy but… why latex? Why not some lovely, soft, furry number? In my whole life I’ve only ever seen one latex dog and I’m pretty sure that was inanimate…

Holly and Phil met one on This Morning, have a look!

Anyway, what do you think? Let us know in the comments!

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Man Buries His Cat, Only For It To Wander Back Into The Kitchen A Few Hours Later

In what must have been a particularly strange day, a local councillor buried his dead cat, only to have it turn up in his kitchen a couple of hours later.

(And no, this isn’t the start of some felinezombie apocalypse).

The story started as Matt Strong took to Twitter to share the sad news that his cat, Gus, had been killed in a hit and run accident:

But, as Matt would soon learn, the cat killed wasn’t Gus. Gus, along with his brother Ralph, wandered home, into thekitchen, just a couple of hours afterMatt had‘buried him’.

Probablythrilled that his cat was alive, and not buried in the garden, Matt did have one problem. As he pointed out on his Facebook page:

“Unfortunately this means I have someone’s dead cat buried in my garden.”

Pretty nobly, Matt decided that the cat’s body belonged with its owners, and so just a couple of hours after he had buriedit, he found himself digging up the grave, and taking the cat to a local vet.

This strange story has a happy ending for Gus and Matt, but our thoughts are with the family whose pet was killed today.

Image Credit: i100

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The Rock And Kevin Hart Rap About How Leo DiCaprio Got F**ked by a Bear

Last night was the MTV Movie awards, and the Rock and Kevin Hart were chosen to front the event…

The most important question to come out of the evening? Do you remember where you were when Leo got f**ked by a bear? Honestly, I was in the cinema thinking ‘my god it really does look like he’s getting f**ked by a bear.’ They’re right, you do remember!!

It wasn’t just about Leo and his bear though. They opened with a glorious Mad Max tribute.

And a bit of Batman V Superman action too.

It sure looks like they had a lot of fun.

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Heres Why Dogs Tilt Their Head To The Side

Dogs are ace. We dont need any further proof of that. Well tough… we have more evidence for you anyway.

Have you ever noticed how they tilt their head to the side occasionally? Science says there is a reason for that. According to

Apparently there is also another reason, which is a lot more conventional. It helps them hear better. Tilting their head helps them pick up the location or source of a sound.

So basically, as we said, dogs are ace. Now we suggest you dedicate 32 seconds to watching this legend run backwards.

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Single Guy Amazingly Recreates Sisters Family Photos With A Cat

You know what it’s like when you’re steadily ageing and all your friends around you are getting real jobs and their own families and stuff, and you’re there thinking you’re doing well in life because you managed to get tickets to the new Star Wars film?

I don’t. I have that Benjamin Button thing (I did manage to get Star Wars tickets though… playyaaaaa). But this guy does!

Well sort of… it’s his sister that’s being all grown up and proper but, you know, same thing.

Gordy Yates is 28-years-old and he’s alive and everything… but that’s like it. His twin sister, Meredith, is also 28 (obviously) and she’s a mother of two (kids).

Speaking in his blog, Gordy said:

“Im the worst brother because I never get her anything for her birthday. Generally, I dont get someone a birthday present if they live far away, so I usually dont get her ANYTHING even though she always gets me something.”

So he decided to do something different…

He started by copying her wearing funky trousers and chilling with white cars but the real magic is when he gets a cat involved…

He told Babble he asked around for someone who’d let him borrow theircat, “which wasnt weird at all since Im new to the area and am just getting to know people.”

He went on to say how cats and kids are pretty similar…

They both like to eat off of and crawl on the floor, they both like to bite me, theyre both really small, theyre both really hard to control, and I cant give birth to either of them,”

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Lazy Dog Plays Dead Because He Doesnt Want To Leave The Park And Its Hilarious

This dog doesn’t deserve a treat, he deserves an Oscar. Maybe two.

This video shows a dog being told by his human to go home. But theres a problem: the dog is dead.

Im dead, human, theres no point in leaving,he says. “Leave me be.”

Dogs really are the best, right? Even when they’re being a pain in the butt, you can’t help but love them.

I’m totally going to play dead the next time my manager wants me to do something at work… (sorry Mike!)

What do you think? Let us know in the comments

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Fleet Foxes: Crack-Up review luscious harmonies and lyrical heaviness

The bands third album is alternately intriguing and irritating, garlanded with wonderful orchestrations, gorgeous melodies and their trademark pretensions

Over on genius.com a website where music fans annotate lyrics Fleet Foxes frontman Robin Pecknold has recently been hard at work explaining his own song Third of May/daigahara. A track from the bands latest album, it now features 27 annotations in Pecknolds hand, covering everything from its allusions to the paintings of Goya to its use of homophones. There are even three paragraphs devoted to the songs structure: The first section of Third of May progresses linearly in time, describing events that did unfold but from some time in the future, until the final breakdown, when I sing the Was I too slow / Did I change overnight down an octave. Thats a voice that is meant to be from even later in time than the voice that has been singing the first section of the song, that the character isnt introspective to that extent until later on.

There is a compelling argument that Pecknold might have used the time he spent explaining his lyrics to instead write something more straightforward. But you can see why he felt he needed to offer some clarification of whats going on on Crack-Up. The album was recorded after a four-year hiatus, during which Pecknold studied at Columbia University and Fleet Foxes former drummer Josh Tillman unexpectedly became one of alt-rocks most intriguing stars. Understandably, some critics have been keen to contrast Crack-Up with Pure Comedy, Tillmans latest album as Father John Misty, but it seems to bear more comparison to Bon Ivers 22, A Million, another wilfully abstruse record made by an American alt-rocker who is disproportionately unsettled by a modicum of fame. On Crack-Ups predecessor, Helplessness Blues, Pecknold spent a lot of time fantasising about jacking it all in to live on a deserted island, or to run an orchard. Now, he seems to have decided he can continue but only if the music he makes takes a determined left turn.

Watch the trailer for Crack-Up on YouTube

The lyrics on both albums are elliptical and dense Crack-Up is clotted with literary and historical references, to F Scott Fitzgerald, Knut Hamsun, the US civil war, ancient Egypt, the philippics of Cicero, Katie Prices Perfect Ponies: Ponies to the Rescue, Book 6, etc. But while 22, A Million saw Justin Vernon warping his music and voice with electronic effects borrowed from cutting-edge R&B and dance music, Crack-Up takes a more organic approach to alienation. Unable to stop himself writing gorgeous melodies the album is full of beautiful passages of music, garlanded with Fleet Foxes trademark luscious harmonies and wonderful orchestrations Pecknold instead opts to repeatedly short-circuit them. At its most straightforward, Crack-Up features a digressive, segmented, prog-rock-style take on the sound of the bands first two albums, with mixed results. The most uncomplicated song here, Kept Woman, might also be the best, but theres no doubt that sometimes, abandoning the standard verse-chorus structure in favour of a more episodic approach leads to stunning juxtapositions. Take the lovely moment when Fools Errand suddenly shifts tempo midway through, slowing down as if exhaling; the way Naiads, Cassadies drifts into a wonderfully orchestrated instrumental passage; and the slow dissolve at the end of If You Need to, Keep Time on Me, where the song vanishes beneath a twinkling piano figure.

Watch the video for If You Need to, Keep Time on Me on the bands YouTube channel

On other occasions, songs are allowed to ramble without really going anywhere. More than once, the listener is subjected to the depressing sensation of looking at the time elapsed and realising that the track seems to have been playing a lot longer than it actually has. And sometimes Fleet Foxes feel as if they might be buckling under the weight of their own pretensions. Its not entirely clear whether Pecknolds solemn intoning of the lyric on I Should See Memphis sybarite women stood at attention, pacing the basement like Cassius in Rome, or in KINSHASA! is intended to be as funny as it is, whether its a parody of a portentous self-important singer-songwriter, or just sounds like one.

Other tracks are more aggressively disjointed, jumping from one section to another in a style that a charitable voice might suggest recalls the daring splices Brian Wilson made on the Beach Boys Smile always a Fleet Foxes touchstone and a less charitable voice might say sounds remarkably like someone randomly jabbing at the pause button. I Am All That I Need/Arroyo Seco/Thumbprint Scar, plonked at the start of the album in you-have-been-warned style, cuts from (deep breath) a lo-fi recording of dirgelike acoustic guitar and mumbled vocals, to discordant strings to a melange of propulsive rhythms and harmonies interpolated seemingly at random with more lo-fi acoustic mumbling to a hushed guitar and vocal interlude, to a field recording of Pecknold singing to himself as walks, to the sound of splashing water, to a recording of schoolchildren singing White Winter Hymnal, a song from Fleet Foxes eponymous debut album. It is alternately beautiful, intriguing and quite irritating, as bands turning inward and indulgent are wont to be. Indeed, you can say the same thing about Crack-Up as a whole.

Source: http://www.theguardian.com/us

This Is Why Cats Are Scared Of Cucumbers You Horrible Horrible People

You may have noticed by now that cats get bloody livid when you surprise them with a cucumber. If you haven’t, you’ve presumably been in a month long coma or something. It’s everywhere…

Since people found that out, they’ve been wondering whether we’d ever get an explanation as to why felines are petrified about the fruits (not vegetables), but we didn’t… UNTIL NOW!

Although, be warned. The answer is more obvious than you thought but it’s a bit sad.

Animal behaviour specialist, Dr. Roger Mugford, had this to say on the matter…

I think that the reaction is due to the novelty and unexpectedness of finding an unusual object secretly placed while their heads were down in the food bowl.Cats have to be suspicious of the unknown: It could represent the danger of a snake or another predator. I suspect that there would be the same reaction to a model spider, a plastic fish or a human face mask.

OK so, granted, you shouldn’t torment your cat but, to be fair, if cats were humans, we’d all hate them. They’d genuinely be horrible horrible people. You can’t argue with that.

Although it has to be said, if you’re scaring cats for YouTube views, that’s not a good thing.

Cats apparently see their food bowls as safe places. They can go there to chill out. If you throw in a rogue cucumber, all hell will, understandably, break loose.

Author ofThink Like A Cat,Pam Johnson-Bennett, said:

With a startle response, a cat will often try to get out of there as quickly as possible and then reassess from a distance.

So bear that in mind. If you don’t have a cat… go away.

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Fleet Foxes singer gives sweater to a fan who made a Tumblr for it, indie rock lives

This story begins, of course, in the Pacific Northwest.

Five years ago, a Fleet Foxes fan did what every high schooler did in 2011 and created a single topic tumblr devoted to something she really likes. That happened to be a cozy sweater belonging to the band’s lead singer, Robin Pecknold.

Now, thanks to the powers of the internet and the impeding Autumn winds, she owns that sweater.

Fuck Yeah Robin Pecknold’s Sweater was born the same year of the Fleet Foxes’ Helplessness Blues. The blog pays tribute to the musician’s oatmeal sweater featuring a crimson, tan and gray geometric design that, for a time, he was quite fond of wearing.

Hmu

A photo posted by Robin Pecknold (@robinpecknold) on

As time marched on, Pecknold’s sweater stayed out of the public eye, but FYRPS prevailed, sharing fan art devoted to the sweater and even a nice picture of Drake wearing a similar design.

Four months ago, Pecknold answered a question about the famed sweater in a Reddit AMA, explaining that he hadn’t been wearing it, but it traveled with him though various moves over the years.

The sweater blogger, the sweater and the sweater owner were finally able to arrange a new home for the iconic piece of indie rock memorabilia. Pecknold shipped it off to its cozy new home, and come winter, it will be swallowed in her coat.

Farewell old friend

A photo posted by Robin Pecknold (@robinpecknold) on

@spinning.rims ytmnd

A photo posted by Robin Pecknold (@robinpecknold) on

Source: http://mashable.com/

This Cat Takes Better Selfies Than You

This cat can probably drive, make fire, and knows where to find all the aliens in space. He’s just that smart. Most importantly, however, arethe awesome selfies that he can take.

According to Instagram user @yoremahm, Manny learned to use the camera purely by chance when he reached out to touch the camera during a shoot.Take a peek at some of his finest work.

1. That dog has incredible fashion sense.

?? #selfiecat #GoPro

A photo posted by @yoremahm on

2. Absolute baller…

FREE CATNIP!!! ? #Selfiecat ? #powerball

A photo posted by @yoremahm on

3. Catching up with donkey…

#selfiecat #FaceTime ?

A photo posted by @yoremahm on

4.

?? #selfiecat @timthetoothninja @besomedoggy ?? #selfiebattle

A photo posted by @yoremahm on

5. Arty…

?? #selfiecat #gopro #tongueouttuesday

A photo posted by @yoremahm on

6. This is take three, they wouldn’t stop barking at first (probably).

7. Classic…

When you’re mid-selfie and your song comes on… ?? #selfiecat #leanback

A photo posted by @yoremahm on

8. #ChristmasSelfie #SantaBeNice

???? #selfiecat #GoPro

A photo posted by @yoremahm on

9. A cat among dogs…

?? #selfiecat #GoPro

A photo posted by @yoremahm on

10. An old favourite…

Goooooood Morning! ?? #selfiecat #squad #gopro #pitbull #rottweiler

A photo posted by @yoremahm on

11. When cats do duck face.

? when cats do #duckface ? #selfiecat #gopro

A photo posted by @yoremahm on

What a master he is.

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A Baby Dolphin Died Because Tourists Wanted Selfies With It

This is the infuriating moment that a baby dolphin died because tourists in Argentina carried it onto the beach to take selfies, exposing it to the hot sun and condemning it to death.

The Dodo reports that the incident took place on the beachSanta Teresitain Argentina. One man picked up the dolphin and brought it ashore, this is when tourists began passing around, taking it in turns to get their photo with it.

The dolphin overheated in the blazing sun, and soon died. Beachgoers were reportedly still passing it around after it had died, before later leaving it discarded in the sand.

The dolphin was from the Franciscana variety, which is considered a vulnerable species as there are only around 30,000 left in the world.

An environmentalist from the Vida Silvestre Foundation wrote online in response to the incident:

“[Dolphins] can not remain long above water. They have very thick and greasy skin that provides warmth, so the weather will quickly cause dehydration and death.

“This occasion serves to inform the public about the urgent necessity to return these dolphins to the sea as soon as possible if they find them on the shore.”

Sad times.

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Lion Tries To Eat A Kid At The Zoo

There’s something pretty eerie about watching a lion stalk its prey, and it gets even eerier when that prey is a cute little boy in a yellow raincoat.

A video has made its way online of just that, a little boy visiting the zoo and when he turns his back, the lion reminds us what would happen if we got to see him in real life out in the wild somewhere (clue: we wouldn’t win).

The video has been shared widely across the internet,with many making link to the recent shooting of Harambe. What I will say aboutthis Japanese zoo, is that they’ve really mastered the whole ‘zoo’ thing – in so much as the kids can’t get into the enclosure, and the lion can’t get out. Bravo.

Check out the clip here:

This video is a stark reminder that despite us humans keeping them in zoos, these animals will always be wild.

And also that little kidscan be super chill, even when a lion is trying to eat them. Cool guy.

What do you think? Let us know in the comments.

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Sign This Petition To Stop People Who Torture Animals Owning Pets Again

There is nothing good to be said about people who hurt animals, and now there is a petition to try and stop them from ever owning a pet again.

It emerged this week that a little chihuahua called Chunky had been tortured by four teenagers, before being left for dead next tosome bins at the side of the road.

He was found with a broken leg, neck, a burnt face and eyes and had even been force-fed drugs by the teens, who had tortured the poor pup over a number of hours, apparently for their own “amusement”…

The RSPCA officer dealing with the case said:

“This was the most disturbing case I have ever dealt with, by an absolute mile. These youths admitted feeding him drugs, kicking and punching him, and wringing and breaking his neck before dumping him. They also said they set fire to his face and eyes after lighting a deodorant aerosol can. The whole thing sends shivers down my spine.”

Chunky made a miraculous recovery and is happy with a new family (above).

Shockingly though, the boys were only banned from owning an animal for five years. Yes, five years before they could potentially find another dog to have “fun” with.

So one dog-lover, and just generally sane person, Maxine Berry has set up a petition asking David Cameron to permanently ban people who abuse animals. Which, when you think about it, makes crystal clear sense…

You can sign the petition here, and help stop dogs like Chunky being hurt again.

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Weird Girl Explains Why Women Should Have Sex With Dogs

Do you remember in sex education when the teacher was informing you about how to practice safe sex to avoid pregnancy or STDs, and then said if you really want to be safe then the best thing to do is just have sex with your dog? No, nor do I, but this seems to be the screwed up advice that this girl is offering.

It has to be fake, right? Surely this girl is tolling us. We hope so, but it’s kind of hard to tell. She nonchalantly reels of the ten reasons why you should have sex with a caninewhilst giggling and stroking her dog.

Reasons include it being legal in some states, it’s convenient, it’s safe, and it’s been happening for hundreds of years. To top it all of she says that dogs don’t complain. Seriously, she has to be trolling us.

Someone please buy her a vibrator for Christmas.

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This Is What It Would Look Like If We Evolved From Other Animals

Evolution didn’t happen. We’re all lapping up the lies fed to us by “the man”! The Queen’s a lizard and so is everyone else in charge. Aliens built the pyramids and now they’re watching us…

Or, you know… none of that is right and we evolved from apes. It’s one or the other, really.

But have you ever wondered what it would be like if we evolved from other animals? Me neither. But just in case…

1. Wild Boar

2. Bull

3. Camel

4. Cat

5. Donkey

6. Eagle

7. Fox

8. Lion

9. Lynx

10. Monkey

11. Mountain Goat

12. Owl

13. Parrot

14. Wabbit

15. Raccoon

16. Mountain Goat

It’s all very interesting but I can’t help but think that, if we evolved from birds, we’d have beaks – not just big noses.

Which one is your favourite? Let us know in the comments!

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Jonah Hill And Miles Teller Flirt With Guns And Danger In War Dogs Trailer

The true story of two 20-something-year-old stoners who became international arms dealers,War Dogsis the latestcomedy/drama fromThe Hangover director Todd Phillips.

Starring Miles Teller and Jonah Hill asDavid Packouz and Efraim Diveroli – the unlikely winners of a$300 million Pentagon contract to supply arms to America’s Afghani allies – the film is already being likened to The Wolf of Wall Street,in that it charts the quasi-illegal activities of those trying to make a lot of money.

The Hangover alumnus Bradley Cooper makes an appearance as somesort of shady criminal, encountered by Teller and Hill as they attempt to navigate the dangerous underbelly of the world of arms dealing.

Check out the trailer here:

What do you think? Let us know in the comments…

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A Particularly Fabulous Cat Has Been Given The Photoshop Treatment

What do you do if you find a particularly sassy looking cat in a photo online? Save it? Make it your background? Maybe send it to that one particularly cat-obsessed friend you have? (Sorry, Jenna…)

Well, the people of the internet got their hands on this particularly great picture of a cat – obviously they photoshopped it for comedic value. Obviously.

There we go. Story over.No need to show you the photoshopped pictures, we’ll just let you imagine the hilarity.

Only kidding!

You’re welcome.

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Watch The Shocking Moment A Lion Grabbed A Child, Live On TV

Of all the weird things to surface on Imgur, this video from a 2003 Mexican TV show pretty much takes the biscuit.

It showsa lion grab hold of a child, and then have a kind of tug-of-war with said child’s mother – all while the presenters continue with the (live) show.

Everyone seems very relaxed about the whole thing – including the child – and eventually the lion lets go, and settles down.

holly crap

This could have been a lot, lot worse, and is a pretty firm argument for not having lions on TV shows (especially when there are appetising kids around).

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