As far as actual beasts go, Disney’s new Beast makes for surprisingly good boyfriend material. Once you’ve fully given yourself over to Stockholm Syndrome, you’ll find a well-read prince who loves to party and is also sometimes secretly Dan Stevens.
But he’s not the only Disney creature we’d like to take for a twirl around the ballroom. He’s not even in the top five. Turns out that in its 90 years of existence, Disney’s come up with lots of animal creatures we’d like to take on dates.
We’re talking middle- or elementary-school type dates here, mind you no grownup stuff, just guys and gals we’d like to hold hands and maybe share a milkshake with.
Judge if you want, but we’re betting you’ve secretly crushed on a few of these as well.
10. Beast, Beauty and the Beast (live-action version)
We’ve already gone over some of this guy’s winning qualities, but he’d rank a lot higher if he weren’t so weirdly judgy about people’s taste in books. Maybe you’d have an easier time meeting girls if you’d stop mocking them for enjoying the odd romance novel, dude.
9. Beast, Beauty and the Beast (animated version)
Animated Beast has a lot of the same pros and cons as Live-Action Beast, but comes off as less of a drip, maybe because his movie is better. We’re gonna give him the edge here.
8. Scar, The Lion King
Clearly evil, but extremely charming with an enviable vocabulary and a spectacular sense of drama.
Basically, there’s no way this relationship ends well, but you’ll be telling your friends stories about this guy for years.
7. Shere Khan, The Jungle Book (live-action version)
Pros: Has Idris Elba’s voice and Idris Elba’s charisma.
Cons: Also has a murderous hatred of humans, so would definitely kill you. But what a way to go!
6. Tiana, The Princess and the Frog
A bit buttoned-up at first, but gutsy and adventurous once you get to know her. Definitely get her to cook for you, even if it means you’re stuck mincing the mushrooms.
5. Mufasa, The Lion King
Extremely dignified and powerful and responsible, but like, not so much that he’s forgotten how to have fun.
4. Naveen, The Princess and the Frog
In his human form, he’s the life of any party with his slick dance moves and sweet ukulele skills. In his frog form, he’s still the guy you can count on to show you a good time, even when you’re on the run from evil spells and scheming sidekicks.
3. Pongo, 101 Dalmatians
Pongo is just an all-around good dude. He’s caring and clever, a devoted mate to Perdita and a doting dad to his 99 children.
And if a guy’s friends are any indication of his character, it’s worth pointing out Pongo hangs out with Roger, who is one of Disney’s most lovable humans.
2. Simba, The Lion King
Simba is cuteness personified. (Animalified?) He’s playful and energetic, with a sly sense of humor.
Also, unlike a lot of Disney princes, he has actual experience out in the real world because of that gap year he did with Timon and Pumbaa.
1. Robin Hood, Robin Hood
There are two kinds of people in this world: those who had confusing childhood crushes on this foxy thief, and those who are lying about their confusing childhood crushes on this foxy thief.